|Reviews for Monochrome|
| putz-6 chapter 1 . 6/17/2005
This is a great poem _
| kit feral chapter 1 . 5/30/2005
Wow. Super powerful. The lines that stood out to me the most were “Dishonest, Her promise, It’s all she can guarantee.” Those were amazing- actually, this whole poem was amazing. You really stepped into her shoes. Or your shoes- I get the feeling since this is so real that it’s true. Feelings like this suck, but at least you can get it out through poetry. Anyway, great work, keep it up!
| Gypsee chapter 1 . 4/8/2005
you definitley tapped into the psychology of this person. it's almost like you and her are the same person
| astral boy chapter 1 . 4/6/2005
sad. i really like the way you write. so honest and simple... but... good. lol. i'm adding you to favs. :)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/31/2005
awesome.. especially the last stanza
OK stanzas.. try going to edit & going to the end of a line HOLD shift & hit return tehn hit delete... let me know if that doesnt work
| nick-wordsmith chapter 1 . 3/29/2005
It feels so... true. Great rhymth- its just very smooth and forward. Great stuff!
Stones decay, words lastNick
PS: Just as a response to your review, sometimes I get into a very vocabesque mood.
| Chaotic Charisma chapter 1 . 3/29/2005
Wow. Deep. Personal. REAL. You've done an intersting thing with the rythm in the poem, made it almost a monotone which reflects the idea of the piece. You capture the ideas and the emotions together in this very well, without going into detail. Leaving it abstract, in a way. Letting the reader make their own connections, but not exactly making it hard to connect. Am I rambling? Yes.
"Loved and hurt herself, and everyone in the way," "everyone she is," both lines that suggest a lot in very few words. Plus, I like the way those lines sound and the ideas they convey. The ending is great, the repeat of the word pale is a good idea; she's not real, the day's not real... I know I'm not commenting on every idea presented here, but I liked this piece alot. The one thing I can actually make a comment on that isn't all adoring is that something about the first stanza doesn't seem to fit exactly the right way with the rest of the piece. The ideas do, but the images don't somehow. I like the link of the yellow with the finger down the throat thing, though. Symptoms are bad, aren't they? Annd... I hope you're better off than the girl in your poem. :/
| myno chapter 1 . 3/29/2005
that'd make a killer song... freakin awesome.
| Aslan Israel chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
Powerful words. I don't know what else to say...
| Opium Hex chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
This is very potent writing. Great effort.
By the way, I also write as Ruby Woo. Thanks for your reviews :) I won't be writing as RW any more, so check out OpiumHex ;)
| and flowers chapter 1 . 3/22/2005
you summed the issue up well.