|Reviews for the swan|
| the.mad.hatter's.accomplice chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
it's tempting. & before you know it, you're just another clone-and maybe ever one of your fellow drones has, at one point, been that girl who tossed her hair and declared "never will i", that girl who goes to school in sweatpants & a loose t.
this review is way too long, as i normally stick to the monosyllabic style of feedback. so i'll just end it now.
(oh, and a word of advice-stay away from mercury, or you'll become as mad as all those poor hatters.)
| Alicia Marianne chapter 1 . 2/6/2006
it always is tempting, and you can give into the temptation, as long as you dont forget who you really are.
| Tikklz chapter 1 . 10/28/2005
I totally understand how tempting it is to remake yourself. I go through that all the time. Really good job!
| lackluster chapter 1 . 7/12/2005
very good point. we all have to choose don't we? but all the make-up and stuff is only another mask we wear every single that's what we choose...
| SpiritualNomad chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
hm good point to the poem, i mean sure we all are rough and we see ourselves through our faults, so i guess ur right, we are all waiting for some one to come and transform us...or others like me get sick of the constand degredation of all those fake people and by all the hate and hurt and despair trapped inside us, we r transdformed into those fake people's worst nightmare. and we revel in it.
| nut jab chapter 1 . 3/30/2005
ah, image. Reminds of the time I actually wore eyeliner. Love the poem though.
| THROUGHTHESEEYES chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
Yep. Hollywood is amazing in how they can transform plain to wow in heart and mind you seem to be. Keep up the great writin.
| Nails For Your Crucifix chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
I like the structure and message of some of your other poems better, but this isn't bad. Just remember to find people who can see past the foundation and eyeliner. Be yourself and such.
| boogalaga chapter 1 . 3/23/2005
Hey, a few comments on the technique. Its lovely, very smooth and even. Quite well done. You speak easily, and the rhymes are there, but not in your face. A very nice balance all the way throughout. NOt too lost and hopeless, and not too independent. I can see you as a strong independant girl who would still like to be appreciated and noticed. Well done.
In responce to your sentiment. Be careful about taking on a new style. Don't use it if it doesn't feel right. Remember, style goes in and out. If you like it, go for it, but be willing to schlump back into your old clothing and habits.
Most of all, continue to act like you always have when you felt you were honestly at your best. You won't be a teen forever, and the styles will change. Just be who you are underneath all that, because thats the only thing that will last. have fun with the make-up, but feel free to be weird.