Reviews for All Is Fair
pessimistic romanticist chapter 8 . 1/6/2006
i have to say this story is awsome and amazing i love it i hope you update soon this story is inspiring i've had a writers block and your story has inspired me to write a faith based story of mine i can't wait to read more
therighty5 chapter 8 . 1/2/2006
This story had me captured from the beginning.

It's a really good story; please get some more chapters in soon!

Good work, keep it up!
Alexis Kent chapter 4 . 10/16/2005
This chapter was nice. :) One thing you might want to keep your eyes on is to avoid making Sam too perfect. I'm all for the good-guy types (believe me :P) but every character needs to evidence flaws at one time or another, or else they don't appeal as much to the reader. It doesn't have to be blatant or that earth-shattering, but try slipping something in here and there to keep him from being perfect. :)
Alexis Kent chapter 2 . 10/16/2005
Oh dear. "Ariana…is this what you name your angels now, God?" That seemed entirely unnecessary, and it does not add any sweetness to the romance when they are smitten with each other as soon as they first meet. It's fine for there to be an attraction, I'm sure, but that line in all honesty made me nearly cringe.
Alexis Kent chapter 1 . 10/16/2005
I like this! Though I normally stay from modern Christian romances (just because they seem a bit fluffy and water down doctrine a LOT), I do believe this one has merit. :) I like Ariana's entrance into the school, and the way you portray her not fitting in. In too many stories everyone writes about their main character "not caring what they looked like or what people thought" when their character doesn't fit in. Ariana, on the other hand, actually tries to look nice only to discover that the others have a different definition of it so she feels quite stupid. I like it.

Now for a couple pointers. Avoid flowery or overused descriptions like "the strawberry-blonde layers cascaded around her face and all the way down her back" or a shirt fitting well over "strong, broad shoulders." Next, is there a less cliched way for them to meet? In just about every high school-ish romance I've read, boy and girl meet by running into each other in the hall. And then the guy smiles, and the girl's heart goes aflutter-it's not overly original, I'm very afraid to say.

I do like this story, so I hope you won't find my criticism harsh or unnecessary. :) However to me, it's as though you draw readers in at the fresh, interesting beginning, only to slowly let the initial interest disintegrate. You must be careful to keep the reader hooked the entirety of the first chapter; because that's very often the determining factor of whether or not one continues reading. :)

But this was very well-written, I do believe. :) If you just keep an eye out for those things I mentioned, I believe it will be even better. :)
precariousbeing13 chapter 8 . 10/16/2005
Great chapter! I love your work! Keep writing!
precariousbeing13 chapter 1 . 9/15/2005
Great story! I love your stuff! Please update soon!
i-believe-in-God chapter 7 . 8/18/2005
I am officially spellbound by this story. It's being a romantic sap, that's typical.I love this story, and you're an awesome storyTELLER. I really would like to know where this is going... and I can't wait until you post your next chapter. Keep on writing and God bless definitely!Sarah
D L Dzioba chapter 7 . 8/4/2005
Gosh, I forgot how much I loved this story. It's not as much like 'Home' As I thought it was. Same exace Genre thought Young adult Christian romance...You have Got to work on it. I won't quit bugging you until you do.
pessimistic romanticist chapter 1 . 4/15/2005
intresting it's been awhile since i've been able to find a good spiritual story and i can tell just from this chapter that this story will be great
TheAngelofhope chapter 4 . 4/3/2005
This is a really good story and I mean that. You did such a great job writing this. Keep up the great work.
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