Ah that's such a beautiful poem. It's so... strong. And concrete. Everything sits there on its own, with some of the most creative and original images. I especially loved "Become a sideshow act for the humanity" and "The enamel on her teeth quivers." Beautiful.

Jess

"she wants to hurl her body into the moving cars/become a sideshow act for the humanity"

i can't believe you didn't get more reviews for this.

sheer genuis.

You are incredibly brilliant. These words could have come from no less than a master of words. You have a style and uniqueness all your own. I love this piece & the rest of your writings; they evoke images not found in many other places. Kudos & keep writing, please.

Wow, good I love it.

I love the way you bend and twist and smooth adjectives along. And the verbs. From the first line of breathing, then the hurling into moving cars, screaming, trembling, quivering. Gorgeous. I cannot emphasize enough how much I love the way you write!

saying all that in just eight lines is a remarkable accomplishment. you make it seem so easy to write brilliantly.

what? what what?what is this? what is this? this 8 line poem?

hurl her body into the moving cars, sideshow act for the humanity she relates to a sliver under her fingernail?

what? what? what?omg, ash. its so SO NOW!idk, but its beautiful. beautiful. just listen to it. it sounds like something i want to film!

heaving words? the enamel on her teeth quivers.

ok, quivering enamel? i love it. there's no doubt. quivering enamel?

::new favorite poem::

wow.. powerful

Your poems need to be read- I have felt this way so many times. You are ten billion times cooler than me. I can't bring myself to really "flame" anyone although I did get a thoroughly unrelative flame the other day. you seem to know the right things to say in your poems, always. you are welcome. :D