|Reviews for 3 years|
| Da-zGreen chapter 6 . 10/1/2010
How cute. Should have been longer but then what can I say, it would have sucked. lol. Having to read all those chapters. lol. Anyways, thanks for the fun. Hope to read more stories from you!
| brilliant-revolution chapter 6 . 7/16/2009
| outsidersgirl chapter 6 . 6/25/2007
that was a nice story
| Elena chapter 6 . 1/8/2007
A sad pathetic attempt at a good story. The plot can be rescued but...
A piece of friendly advice? take this down, think it over, edit it, make it believable and clean the grammar mistakes and then repost.
This story lacks one thing: DEVELOPMENT, it's too rushed, the characters seem to have no reactions to emotions, they seem bad actors trying to make an emotional scene and failing miserably, it feels fake.
2nd. you must know nothing about pergnancies right? the first simptoms such as morning sickness and dizziness appear at least four weeks after conception, not the day after... Basically because until 48 hours since conception there isn't even an embrio, but a bunch of dividing cells that have yet to be "assigned" their functions. Besides usually the tell the tale warning sign is the lack of period wich happens one to three weeks after conception.
Don't be discouraged by this, you're attemping to write a dramatic "real-life" story, you have to have real-life actions and reactions that the reader can relate to and that they can picture happening, otherwise it's a formula to disaster.
Good Luck and keep writing, practice makes perfect doesn't it? *wink*
| queen-lala chapter 6 . 7/22/2005
aww that was sweet. but i wonder who that person was that isn't so happy about them getting back together.. can't wait for the sequel..keep up the good work.
| Lady of romance world88 chapter 6 . 7/10/2005
Hey! Who is this woman? Is it Ezekial's ex-girlfriend? Wow! Ezekial and Kiana back together. Hooray. I can't wait to find what happens next. Hurry update soon.
| bulletproof.cupid chapter 6 . 5/21/2005
Hmm that was a bit too quick, but yeah... it's all good. I'll keep an eye out for the sequel. L8er days,
| dOrKy-GuRl03 chapter 6 . 5/20/2005
hey that was good...too bad its the ends...yeah who the woman that hates their realtionship?...loving it...gonna read your sequel...
| DefineBeauty chapter 6 . 5/20/2005
its a good thing Kiana got there in time but now I'm wondering if Ezekial's just a lying jerk. I mean who else could have been unhappy about them getting together but another girl that he maybe got pregnant? looking forward to the sequel!
| Britney AnnE chapter 1 . 5/20/2005
Wow...It sounds like a real experience! I would haet to be in that position, but then again if there so much in LOVE then they'll handle it right?
| DancingButterfly chapter 5 . 5/17/2005
um im not likin it much, not very realistic in my eyes but thats just what i think so don't put much thought into what i say. but what kind of insane moron wants to kill himself in his son's house where his bed is like right next door and i still think he should've given up so soon. seriouly fuckin stupid.
| bulletproof.cupid chapter 5 . 5/17/2005
AHH! Don't do that to him, woman! You've got to be kidding me... ended right here! Update soon 'cause I CAN'T wait. Take care hun,
| popcicle-toes chapter 5 . 5/17/2005
Ah! Stop! Don't! aka. Please don't let him die...
| DefineBeauty chapter 5 . 5/17/2005
whoa! he cant do that! then what will happen? what about sam? what about kiana? Im anxious to see what will happen (can u tell? lol) keep writing!
| zenni chapter 5 . 5/17/2005
wow, this story is excellent! Please write more?