Reviews for Crumbling Mask
SliversofSilverPain chapter 1 . 8/29/2005
That's so sad... her only shield, losing the smiling eyes... I know someone like that... they always wear masks... that person is me... Still, very good poem; the rhymes are really fluent; well written!
DeadliestNightshade chapter 1 . 6/24/2005
Wonderfully written, and lovely use of the words for example whispers a silent prayer, anywhere else one would think what the hell you cant whisper a silent prayer, but it fit in perfectly, all in all the poem was very fluid and followed a wonderful pace. Not many people can pull of rhyming but you did it beautifully.
FrozenKiwi chapter 1 . 6/16/2005
Oh I really love it! You write lovely : Thanks for reviewing! -
blue-eyes91 chapter 1 . 6/11/2005
that was all so good! i thikn that my favorite stanza was the third one! your rhyme scheme is great! keep it up!
swaggering curses chapter 1 . 6/4/2005
very sad and poignant, better than most suicide poems. I like the rhyming and the imagery, the fifth stanza in particular I think your wording is excellent. Though the line "She has no pulse nor will" I think you lifted from Walt Whitman's "O Captain my Captain". P I like it, though. Very nice! )
aflyingmachine chapter 1 . 5/30/2005
I like the lines about the mask breaking, love the language used there. Great poem, very sad
Lurking-Shadow chapter 1 . 5/11/2005
Oh. Dark. Pretty good use of metaphor for suicide. However, I really disagree w/ the last line. "She's gone where she belongs." That's a line of defeat and despondence.
Pelirizado chapter 1 . 5/11/2005
I have been the one who whispers the silent prayer. I have seen a girl almost driven to death by her masquerade. Actually I wrote a song about it. Great job again. You place your words well, and it seems that a lot of care goes into what you write. Thank you for taking that care. It is the difference between poor writing and excellent writing.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/7/2005
wow.. very powerful, sad and true.. awesome job!
akley chapter 1 . 5/5/2005
I love the Poam. I give you props because I couldn't wright a poam if my life depended on it.
Berzerk108 chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
So sad. Extremely emotional and real.
Stifled Scar chapter 1 . 5/3/2005
woah! that was awsome, and deep..keep it up! youre going on my favorite authors list!
Irish Sundae chapter 1 . 5/1/2005
I loved that! I like the beginning where it seems like everything is all happy-go-lucky but there's acutally this world of torment that no one can see and it makes you wonder how many of those people with those happy voices are actually going through the same exact thing. Great poem. I loved how the end and beginning were tied together. Great rhyme scheme. I absolutly adored the line "Friends are here for one moment- And the next, they're only dreams." work! Keep it up!

Irish .

p.s. - *checks 'Add story to my Favorite Stories list' box* *smile*
bread-thief chapter 1 . 4/16/2005
amazing. a very meaningful piece, i really like it.
Shadow Link chapter 1 . 4/14/2005
First of all, insomuchas the flow, description, and fullness of this piece goes...absolutely AWESOME. I don't know of any better way to convey the emotions and events than that which you chose to use. As to the subject matter, and think (and don't take this wrong) it seems to suit you. Maybe that's just how you think, but when it's actually written down, it sounds absolutely wonderful. Awesome stuff.

-Shadow Link
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