Reviews for Breaking the Camel's Back
Sijia Wang chapter 3 . 9/23/2005
uhh..how about 1st person? I dislike Dana for some reason...i dontlike the name. lol but its your story.

And, everything's so random. well, each chapter really has no relation to the others, well, somewhat. GET TO THE MEAT OF IT EDIE! ok. i get 3 chocolate covered almonds...

i really liked this chapter for some reason. i like alex. he's cool. he doesnt seem like the typical genius..
Sijia chapter 2 . 9/23/2005
wow short chapter...

LOL mix of CHINESE, irish, and other Eurpean nationalities? lol what's wrong with you...but nice, very nice. we can dream.

How come my last review was cut off? i was trying to critique your writing and it didnt post the whole thing!
Sijia chapter 1 . 9/23/2005
Once again, bravo edie... lol rhett? as in Rhett Butler? you shoulda just named her "Scarlett", since it IS your favorite name and all...

on to the mistakes...when it comes to you, i'm rather picky, since, you're already a pro, i have to be harsh right? right.

"They had been doting parents, the storybook kind, and Alex had been denied nothing. He got everything his mother couldn’t have as a child, and everything his father had taken for granted and thought was fundamental for the development of a child. Alas, like all married couples, they had their share of quarrels, and one was centered on how to bring up their child."
Cinera chapter 1 . 5/1/2005
I have to say, this is a great start. I love your voice, and the way you word things in here. You put your emphisis in exactly the right places so you can see what is going on in your mind. I'd love to see where this story is going. This is going on my favorites. And thanks for my review.
Broken Reflection chapter 2 . 4/28/2005
Excellent chapter. Makes me jealous...;_;
Kev chapter 2 . 4/28/2005
no, no more chocolate coverd almonds... Anyway, the plot is starting to sink in. Nice job with the footnotes. You just HAD to make the kid a Chinese genious huh? Keep up the good work. Lookin forward to ur next post ).
Broken Reflection chapter 1 . 4/26/2005
UPDATE, MOTHERFORKER. Yeah...not big enough to use the real word. _ Anyways, BRILLIANT story! I've the chapter 3 times now, and I REALLY want to know what happens next. So UPDATE.

BTW, weren't we supposed to do that thing where neither of us updated until the other did? Well, I've already go my second chapter up, so where's YOURS! Huh? HUH! JK. But seriously...hurry up and update..
Chase William chapter 1 . 4/20/2005
Very good for a begining. The ending was nice, a dramatic cliffhanger.

Thanks for the review, also.

-Pat
marsmarionette chapter 1 . 4/19/2005
A very good phrase to base your title off of. You're the most talented 14 year old writer I know. It was a little confusing at first on who was who, but I did have distractions. lol Anyway, keep up the good work and I will go read your other work.
Rei chapter 1 . 4/17/2005
aw, that's sad. a little dark, but well written. _
verity chapter 1 . 4/17/2005
well of course i think its fab. youre so smart and good at everything edie...i wish i was asian... ANYWAY i like it very much and i cant wait to read the rest :-)