|Reviews for but: she told me|
| hoowdoideletethisaccount chapter 1 . 5/8/2006
I adore these lines:
-but: / she told me she loved me / she loved me / she loved me / (because if you say it enough times it becomes REAL)-
Nice job. Sad poem, though. Broken hearts and unrequited love.
| Rozlin chapter 1 . 11/2/2005
very... real. i can feel the pain in this...
| yeaka chapter 1 . 6/14/2005
Short sweet and beautiful. It’s absolutely gorgeous – vividly captivating and powerfully concise. My favourite part is the repetition of “she loved me.” It’s terribly striking. The title is also very neat, as is the end. Does it make sense? Not really. Does it need to? No. I love it to pieces and back whole again.
| poetic abortion chapter 1 . 6/8/2005
painfully vivid. the hurt throughout it, the pain from the wound inflicted is so intenese even the reader feels it, they are affected by it. lovely, lovely. the first line is the best, truely and utterly poetic. lovely.
!* noelle *!
| dollface and her cancer chapter 1 . 5/17/2005
Honestly? I don't get it either. But it's painfully pretty and I think some deep subconscious part of me is hurting after reading it, because I think I've been on both the receiving and the giving end of a feeling like this. It's a sharp, cutting piece of work that stays in your mind for a while after you've stopped reading. Honest, life-based. A very good poem.
And yeah, I agree completely... someday, FPressers will rise up and kill the formatting monster.
| Made in U.S.A chapter 1 . 5/12/2005
i like the repetition which makes it more powerfull and also the use of parenthesis. ah you're amazing and keep writing :D
| citrus scented chapter 1 . 5/11/2005
love it. great formatting ideas too- they just add to the poem. love the image of sawdust- just so incredibly effective. great stuff.
| Catch Ya Later Alligator chapter 1 . 4/28/2005
I love this, mostly because I can relate to it *so well*.
"and then she walked away/stealing my love away in her hands/squeezing it until it turned into/sawdust"
Beautiful. Tragic and beautiful. You bring your words to life with your emotions.
Also, I share your anger at the fpress formatting monster. It destroyed the formatting of one of my poems so much that I refused to put it up, because the formatting was half the poem. _O
| Cloud Burst chapter 1 . 4/28/2005
very powerful and moving! great work!
| if sighing chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
sawdust is such a lovely word, not really "lovely" but I've lost my vocabulary for the moment. (It is a nice image though.)
this reminds me of something about ignoring parenthses...ah well
nice, NICE poem
(fpress formatting monster...HA)
| pneumothorax chapter 1 . 4/22/2005
Interesting. Definately good.
by the way, I love your username. why're you moving?
| this is britt chapter 1 . 4/22/2005
oh my god. I think you stepped into my life for two seconds and wrote this. girls hellions, satanic beings, at least the ones that you love and claw your eyes out with their manicured nails. I suppose I'm evil too. this was a hushed whisper and pained and dark and now I want to cry or something.
| addie pray chapter 1 . 4/21/2005
Awesome. Loved the line "because if you say it enough times it becomes REAL", well done, as usual.
| Twigstudios1972 chapter 1 . 4/21/2005
Very nice and very well put. Very sad and very true. The sawdust line is excellent choice of description. I've felt the same way.
| the-super-goat chapter 1 . 4/21/2005
o man that was good. very sad...im so sorry. very well written:)-shelly