|Reviews for Happiness is a Warm Gun|
| instantaneous karma chapter 1 . 5/8/2005
Your story has the same title as a Beatles song! Anyway, its very interesting. Keep writing!
| Enigmatic Huntress chapter 3 . 5/2/2005
This is my fav chapter so predicated, I love the interection between her and Lee. It must really piss her off he gets to be a policeman.I really wish this chapter was longer. Great Kaitx
| ice flyer chapter 2 . 4/29/2005
all right, cheeks, i'm going to start ACTUALLY reviewing now. no more mr nice guy. that said, lol, i liked this chapter much better. it picked up the pace (yes, i know background info is necessary but spacing it out would be kind lol) and was funny. and no, it really was funny, not forced...to the author it's ALWAYS forced, anyway. i like your character development and all. Now for the editing remarks u must've known would be coming: first sentence..why is it a big mistake that she throws the alarm clock? i mean it doesn't hit anyone, does it? lol explain that the mother heard it or something. also, it is "still (space) clad" not stillclad in the ohh let me see the fourth paragraph. (btw i like how she has blue hair.)and it is "somersault" not "summersault." Also the metaphor about the donuts? Nice but did elves really eat donuts lol? then "..could barely smell the clean, unpolluted air of the atmospheric clouds, where Atlantis and other Elvin cities hid.." Okay wait a sec. This seems to be new info that is relatively interesting and important. why include this with garbage? I think you should say "the smell of the garbage crowded out the unpolluted air of the Elvin cities. I longed for the (something) of my city that hid in the clouds." Okay that was written rather hastily and is not a very good sentence, but u get what i'm saying? I like Jabba the Hut but is he elvin? Wait a sec, the elves DO live alongside humans, so never mind. it goes. Last correction: "So, here I was, standing there useless as the world had apparently met its fate on account of one, foolish pull of the trigger." To make this more coherent I suggest "So, here I was, standing there useless as the world met its fate, all due to one foolish pull of the trigger."Anyway, that's enough corrections to a very promising story. I'll R*R if YOU R&R :p lol good job
| Enigmatic Huntress chapter 2 . 4/26/2005
No, the humour was fine you get the facts and dire situation across but in a lighthearted way-in keeping with her character. I tell you she has the gun for barely a minute and the next, she's in trouble. Typical! I kept expecting Lee to show up but I'm glad he didn't. I want to see how she gets out of this herself. She's clever-tricking the goblin to tell her his plans. I think she'd make a fine policewoman, if she stopped being so reckless that is. I can't wait to see when she starts interacting with Lee, I have a feeling it is going to involve bantering. I really liked this chapter, thanks for updating so quickly. Luv Kaitx
| Enigmatic Huntress chapter 1 . 4/23/2005
Ok, i'll be honest(cause I have morals clearly differing from lee) I skipped the background info. I mean I got up to the floods and humans/witches/druids going one way elfs/ etc the other but then my brain kinda fried. Not because it was boring, sure it wasn't excitment a minute but when ever are backstories? You handled the bit I read very well, I liked how you told it from her point of view, it's just today my mind keeps wandering and I can't take in all these new facts and beliefs at once. But I PROMISE you, I WILL read the bits I skipped soon, hopefully by then I'll have found the swich to my brain labeled on. I just couldn't not review this on the base of the fact I skipped a bit, because it's so darn good. I'm already excited to meet Lee, I likehow plucky she is and the fact she fancies Lee, deep down knows she fancies him(even if she hasn't accepted that yet, she did notice his looks and her excuse for knowing thy enemy was pretty feeble) and The irony that females are looked down on yet she's the leader of her gang was funny. I hope she can change the way their society see's the female elves. I can tell her and Lee's relationship will have humour and fire which is always a winner for me. Don't know bout you but aren't love/hate romances way more fun to read than the Romeo/Juliett, I love you/ you love me type of stuff? Well, that's prob cause I'm not a romantic, even if I'm reading romantic fiction. Confused yet? The point is she's spunky, humouress, not a typical elf, and in denile(so what if I spelt that wrong) my perfect heroine. I give up trying to spell tonight! Anyway, please don't let my sudden brain drain fool you,I can still know good work when I read it. I love how you have created your own new variation on elf culture and you clearly have ambition. I'll read this chapter fully soon and review chapter 2. If it's like chapter 1(but without the heavy backstory) this could end up being among my 10 or so favorites.(Since I've read over 40 stories that's pretty good!) Hopefully my flattery(although I meant every word) has encouraged you to write at least another chapter, Why i'm your only reviewer at the moment I don't know. Don't worry, though, you'll have loads soon enough. So please don't be disheartened and stick with this. Luv Kait
| ice flyer chapter 1 . 4/23/2005
I like your improvements and the spacing and all. Dude, i'm beginning to think the second chapter doesnt exist. UPDATE! Haha her voice is so funny...i love the sarcasm. And I'm so flattered that I'm mentioned in the end :P lol update!