|Reviews for Trust Again|
| Chasing Skylines chapter 1 . 4/25/2009
I like how you showed that "she" was the mother; I found out with the "if my brother remembers her he was only two when she left" lines. I liked the slipping of backstory, with the line "Maybe she ran out of drug money" and the contempt from the narrator towards the mother.
[but I can’t forgiver her.]
Shouldn't that be "forgive?"
[and with tears in her eyes says]
I don't know about poetry, but shouldn't there be a comma after "says," since it's a dialogue tag?
I liked the ending because of how you showed the potency of the words "I'm sorry."
| Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
As I go back & look at thoughts now old,
You wrote and loaded on pages as ghosts,
Their skeletal phantasms haunt my soul,
As they reach out their thin dry bones and crush,
Leaving all rose petals hurricane strewn;
I forget that past tragedies can hold,
Entrapped in sepulchres full of green molds,
Feelings cherished that none hold by you sole,
Shared in sad poem songs of a fair thrush,
With melodies enchanting in their croon;
Penetrating 'til tears makes our soul fold,
As if set upon by murdering hosts,
In a dark alley walking all alone,
So that fear and tremors from inside gush,
Inciting heart to run and escape soon;
O,—what a tale of youth that you have told,
Assimilated now for years in posts,
& Yet, it seems that no one can atone,—
So perhaps, only time without rush,
Can gentle heal with balms of silver moon.
p.s. Now don't forget your promise to post! Yes, I'll take a laptop this time. Though it'll be in an archive while I look to glean some new angle on some old deeds. m
| breezy nostrils chapter 1 . 1/22/2006
i can really feel the intensity in this one, and the need for the apology. keep going!
| beti213 chapter 1 . 6/17/2005
hm... this has a bite throughout but I don't think I believe you when you suddenly switch from blame to forgiveness... it just doesn't sound realistic. could be fixed with a little tweaking, though-up to then, I loved it; it tells a story thoroughly and deeply. well written.
| KonekOniko chapter 1 . 5/18/2005
heartfelt and sweet...i'm speechless.
| Dragonzz chapter 1 . 5/15/2005
grat job! i have an aunt like that, actually... keep up the good work!
| Aaya chapter 1 . 5/14/2005
Powerful stuff! (I can't believe you've written so many poems)
| Lurking-Shadow chapter 1 . 5/9/2005
Wow. Really raw and honest. The ending was sweet and loving and kinda unexpected.
| Sinera chapter 1 . 5/3/2005
a great poem. very true. very sad too. I loved the way you worded everything. great job.
| ShadowNemesis chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
Wow... the end of this poem gave me chills. It was very well written in that it accurately reflects the thoughts and emotions of those who are put in that situation, and it's so moving... it shows the conflict in the speaker's point of view and also the desire for the better... SO GOOD!
| Traced In Green chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
That is really sad. Thanks for all the comments. And yeah, how do you make stanzas on this thing anyway?
| penname1920 chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
wow. i like this poem althou the tone is somewhat casual. thx for your wonderful reviews i cant explain how i like this poem there are parts like "i've missed her and i've wanted her back but i can't forgive her" that really appeal to me.
| SeaVoi chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
I liked it, it has a cool ending!
| Xavier Everett chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
This is nice. Very sweet. Good job.
| daphnegray78 chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
You would not believe how completely and utterly I can relate to this. You wrote this so well, too. You described it... perfectly. Well done. _