Reviews for Two Steps
myno chapter 1 . 3/4/2006
so much anger and hopelessness in this, it's a bit disturbing. Very expressive, though.
justaghost chapter 1 . 7/5/2005
A chill went up my spine when I read this because it's just amazing. I can feel the impact of the whole thing as if it's me who's living that experience. I can also relate to this poem.

Great work with this, it's truly amazing.
pneumothorax chapter 1 . 5/29/2005
Strange in parts: "Two steps!" - whilst it works to make them repeated in the reader's mind, it's almost child-like. The ! as delight or shock? Or a mix perhaps. Interesting.

"... t. w. o...s. t. e. p. s"

I'm a terrible format obsessionist so I loved those lines. Anything different really.

The first half seemed more .. immature? The uses of ! made it seem this way, although that's a personal inference I suppose.

"Tasting the blood dripping drown" - interesting line. Tasting through your skin rather than jsut your mouth?

Good. I suppose I preferred the second half as it was more serious, although without the annoying lines in the first half, it would be just as good. Really though, they're fine. I'm just picky in this case.
estrela chapter 1 . 5/20/2005
i really like your voice in this. my favorite lines are "live life with this plastic smile on my face/walking through the world like it's all okay" this whole poem is very, very nice.
KonekOniko chapter 1 . 5/18/2005
i really relate to this, but i found the wall is a good substitute for a punching bag (though one of my friends now has two holes in his wall XD). the formatting did this poem PLENTY of justice. i love this poem, great job )
AlboChick chapter 1 . 5/13/2005
stress can't be solved by locking urself in a room or just taking urself out of this world, no matter how stressed out and insane you have me... i know...but it was a poem...a bit gory in the end...but i liked it
Lurking-Shadow chapter 1 . 5/9/2005
this sounded more like a song than a poem, not that that's bad. With some guitar and percussion, it'd make an awesome song. Anyway, this piece was dark, especially the ending. I really liked it.
Strawberry Wish chapter 1 . 5/5/2005
Wow, this poem definitely stood out from the rest. It is so perfectly expressed and the dots just make it so much stronger. This will get added to my faves. Again, great job. D
SeaVoi chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
I likw the little ... (dots) it is a ver interesting concept
Marth Azumi chapter 1 . 5/3/2005
Damn, this is pretty good. It showed nice emotions and feelings, and the style was unique and fun. Nice work.
hellokittychic31 chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
totally releatable, and totally awesome! lots of emotion, flowed really nicely!

nice job

teen-angel14 chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
heyis this actual feelings? or is it just something for people to read? i thought you said that the new boyfriend was gonna have you writing mushy poems? lol e-mail me if you want. It'd be cool to get to know you :)
Clap Clap Raise Your Hands chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
i like the beginning of this most, i would have liked this if it had stopped after "from the edge", the poem just kinda seems to get a bit more serious, which is a good thing usually but doesn't really fit with the rest of the poem in my opinion... the repetition seems to drown out the theme rather than reinforce it. like the use of ..., really works well. x weasel within x
me10 chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
i thought this poem had an excellent feel to it to begin with, mainly because it depicts how im feeling right now! i love being able to relate! but then it goes into self harm/suicide and i felt like it somehow lowered the poem but still great poem!
this is britt chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
Sad and disturbing, but I liked it, and it was quite true. I am sorry. Good poem, really though.
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