Reviews for Two Steps
Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
Plunges me into an abyss of emotion.
born-again chapter 1 . 4/28/2005
I really like the structure, the spaces work really well in the poem.
daphnegray78 chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
o.0 I love this poem. My god, this is great. I just... wow.

I hate to do this, because I really, really do like this poem... but there is something I need to point out. *cringes* It is for your benefit I swear.

But, you put "Two mare snickers at my dress." instead of "two more..." And you might consider looking at the lines "secretly with my knife and just taste the blood..." and "see the red..." right after that. The tense feels wrong. You have lockING and comING and then see and taste. It just doesn't fit somehow.

I'm sorry! I hate it when I nit-pick good poems... but it is only to help you and your poem. _ I hope you aren't offended.

~Daphne~
catseyeview chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
Boy, you can feel this!
HauntedMisery chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
Awesome! I like this a lot! Great job!
Tom Madden chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
amazing.. i can feel the emotion. i can relate to this in a couple ways.. kinda wish i didn't, though *overdramatic sigh*. great poem, sugar.
ambiguityy chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
I didn't really get this poem until the last few lines then everything hit me all at once. The first few lines sounded like a hysterical outburst of anger - I really liked the repetition.
Anna178 chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
I love the original format to this. It's amazing, and adds alot. It holds more interest and keeps you reading.
SaveMeToo chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
:o

...Wow...

That is one of the best things I've read in a while. Amazing EMOtion and great concept.

Keep Writing.

*~Amber~*
vballgurl154 chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
I love it. It doesn't rhyme, but it gets the message out. great job!
Seras Nova chapter 1 . 4/25/2005
All the (...) I find annoying. It's repetitive...and very blunt. You show, not tell, but I know you are blunt poet so I am not going to push it *wink*.

I wanted to thank you for your wonderful reviews. Thank you for being so faithful to my work. All I ask you now is for suggestions to my work if you have any. I would truly be grateful.

Thank you again, and keep writing.

-Seras Nova
RatherFresh chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
that was very unique.. and i loved the format. 'twas a very emotional poem. *applauds you*
Emmytastic gal chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
whoa that's really good, very expressive. although i have to say i'm not really a dark person so i usually don't really relate to suicidal, depressing stuff... but this was pretty good.

write on,-Em
Manuel Fajar chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
So many idiots and idiotesses,

¿Why does so much stupidity still live?

I know the Darwin awards are trying,

To promote some of them to leave,

Before they procreate and leave us more,

But the Fifth Law of Thermodynamics,

Seems to be under constant strain & stress,

It seems that,—"The stupid shall be punished,"

Is no longer a real rule of nature,

Though I know that all that mocked me once,

Have remained in their dark ignorant state,

While I grew and changed; and, found my own way,

With people smart enough to help,—not laugh,

Possessed of dignity of being true.

p.s. Don't let the bastards get you down (NON-CARBORUNDUM ILLEGITIMI!)
Rosanna28 chapter 1 . 4/24/2005
I've reviewed ALL of your new poems now, and I have to say, this one is very different from your others! But still, it's really good, I love the whole two steps idea, never read anything like it. I love it!

Much love, Rose.
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