Reviews for Vigilante
Pilesthewarthog chapter 1 . 11/7/2012
Interesting first chapter. A few criticisms though:

When you shift from POV to POV, you may want to put in a buffer so that it's not constantly changing and the audience can keep up. Also, don't give too much information; let the scene play out and the context lend itself to the work.

Other than that, I thought it wasn't too bad. I liked your dialogue throughout this.

Until then,

Keep Writing!
Baby BlueJay chapter 1 . 6/20/2012
This is incredible! I love the adjectives and the way you describe action. I'm already hooked. I'll be reading the rest of the chapters.
Pedizzle chapter 3 . 5/25/2005
Wow, I'm really starting to like this story a lot, wolfie. That Thombsy guy really cracks me up. This story is really picking up too, you're getting better all the time. Excellent writing!
Arkash chapter 3 . 5/22/2005
Wow, this is a thriller to my liking. Good descriptions and excellent plot.

Keep up the good work! *_*
Pedizzle chapter 2 . 5/12/2005
Opulent... I love that word! Not a bad addition, I am certainly curious of Patrick. This kind of reminds me of Batman; I love the comic book aspect to this story.
Pedizzle chapter 1 . 5/9/2005
I think that you have the makings of a talented writer, you really are a good story teller. Many of your faults lie in contradictions and redundantcies; like when you spent a section talking about how one of the gaurds couldn't see because of the darkness, and then described the museum floor as shiney after he got shot. Also, you might consider describing the theif in a different way than "clad in black." That being said, I loved the description of the gestures of the characters during the dialog. You have a knack for word choice. Work a little harder and polish your skills, before long you'll be great. (I'll continue reading you're stories. By the way, I don't have a story out yet but I'll let you know when I do.) Work hard! :)
Jules Kelly chapter 6 . 5/9/2005
As I've said before, I like how your characters are real people with real problems just with some added in muscle strength. I'm anxiously waiting for Ian to go on the Vigilante run, especially now that he's not going back to the force. Nice job with Renee. I like her domestically troubled character.
Arkash chapter 2 . 5/6/2005
Wow, great chapter. Tiffany and Thombsy are interesting characters, and it seems like they are driving the plot for now.

Good job!
Jules Kelly chapter 4 . 5/1/2005
This is a very interesting story that you have here with equally interesting characters. I would like to see where the story is going to go seeing as the name of the story is Vigilante. I like how your character seems to feel like the "every man." It makes the story a whole lot more plausible.
Arkash chapter 1 . 4/27/2005
Whoa! This is an exciting chapter, with Patrick not only shot, but kidnapped as well. Great suspense.

And the thief/killer is under higher orders.

Good job!
TheShadowAvenger chapter 2 . 4/25/2005
Wow this is an interesting story. At the beginning, there were a little too many characters introduced, it got a bit confusing or maybe jsut because it's late at night. But...this is a good story, there's not much childessness, no one is perfect which is are good. Lol it helps a lot in your story, so don't cut them a tidbit more description. I'm not sure how most of the people look, maybe some in the later chapters would help.

Anyway, this is a pretty decent story so far, it's realistic and credible. The chracters are interesting, and I'm sure more will be revealed soon. Please continue, I enjoy reading.

~Shadowing the Avenger