I HATE ATOM!

But I love Natalie and Drew and her dad :)

Please continue!

millie xx

GAH! no more... on to the next chappie.

God, you really know how to milk your audience, don't ya! And I know exactly who Terry is. Finally, Finally, Finally, you are tying in your charachters. Nice job.

Dame Mage of

O God. Well, what happened to that druggist and that criminal from the park?

Dame mage of

Hmm... I don't trust him. At all. And you should be building up more suspense. The first part was better in that respect- chapters of Part II seem to be jumping all around. Tie them in together soon, before you loose your reader!

Dame Mage of

Again, that man has to have a purpose, otherwise your plot is ah...lame. Just keep that in mind.

Dame Mage

Hmm. maybe the drunk had something to do with it after all. The only thing I can think that you should do is make it a little bit clearer.

Much Love,

Dame Mage, of

Hmm... the plot thickens. I hope he overheard her conversation. That would definately make the plot interesting. Other than that, I don't really see the purpose of him as a charachter. We already know how tough and badass she is, so it's not to illustrate that point.

Dame Mage of

Yes, I definately like this part much much better.

Hmm... I love Natalia. She is an amazing charachter.

I love this support base that has built up around Natalia. Although I think that she should display more of a concience.

I like Part II a lot better than Part I. Good Job,

Dame Mage

Hmm. yeah, Let's see some action. Also, please make it a little clearer whether or not they have children.

Hm... I love your charachter development. Nice job. Although I did see a couple of spelling errors in this chapter. Other than that, it was very good.

Love

Dame Mage of

Ting. You have done a very lovely job. Obviously, my final review will be after I've finished the whole fic, but so far you are doing admirably.

Keep up the good work,

Dame Mage