Reviews for Quid Pro Quo
Finding Tobias chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
I don't like Ella, she sounds like a vile human being. I like Liz though, she reminds me of my friend Caitlin... Only, ours had to do with stalking guys at disney World and key chains, but that is a very long story... but we also had 18 hours on a bus and no sleep, so yeah... I'm rambling sorry... Update Soon!

Also if you get a chance, do you mind looikng over some of my stuff? I'd really like your opinion.

Lady R
Carbon Slash chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
Ooh Ella is bad lol. I love her addition in the story; it spices things up. Another great chapter~
alionya chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
Loved the last lines. Ella reminds me of a friend i had minus the additude. Them darn cowboy boots. Quick question: Was that a memery/reflection she was having or a past journal entry. Well whatever it was it was great.
Weezy chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
"I'm Liz. I like to kill bugs with sticks"

I know an otherwise perfectly sweet girl who kills caterpillars with forks. Ordinarily it wouldn't bother me too much, but sometimes I like to eat when I'm at her house.
Dina Rogoziansky chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
oh man, thats funny! lol.

“I’m Nora.” I say appreciatively to the little blonde girl.

“I’m Liz. I like to kill bugs with sticks.”

The start of a beautiful friendship.

that's hilarious. i met my best friend at a pool. and i wasnt little, i was 10 n a half. oh well, i still love her to death, and therefor forgive her for not flying all the way to russia (where i was born) to befriend me earlier. lol.
Wayretro chapter 10 . 5/5/2005
“I’m Liz. I like to kill bugs with sticks.”

LMAO! I laughed so hard when I read that! That last bit was so funny! props!
Useless Art chapter 8 . 5/5/2005
1. Cliche. A concept used ad nauseum. Please, unless you are absolutely positive that you can twist around a cliche and make it work wonderfully, avoid using one. Only the most skilled writers, of which there are remarkably few, can pull off a really trite cliche.

2. We don't need very much background information about Nora's mother. She is dead, and her death affects Nora. This is what we need to know. If you must insert detail, by god do /not/ lump it all into a narrative, journal entry, short story, conversation, or monologue anywhere. Reveal it piece by piece in various places, so we don't suffer information overload.

3. Keep Lucian's age the same. At an older age, his mindset might seem unusual, but not nearly as remarkable and interesting. With such a viewpoint at such an age, he becomes a deep character worthy of further study. However, increasing his age by a few years would hardly hurt him, should you decide to take that route.

4. My favorite character would be Randy. He seems to be very normal and, for that reason, he is intriguing. There is nothing incredibly novel about him, and thus he is most novel of all.

5. Let me turn the question around: Do you feel that you need more characters? If the answer is yes, by all means, proceed. If the answer is no, do not let the opinions of others sway you. Only you can choose the proper course for your story.

6. In a book format, longer chapters can serve a better purpose, but online, shorter, quicker updates are better. The latter path will keep readers interested and prevent them from having to stare at their screen and tire their eyes for too long. However, again, this question is really dependent on your discretion. How best will your story function?

7. Honestly, no. Not right now, at least. Your plot is rather rushed as of now and would constitute a shorter work. After all, the main plot, which seems to be Gideon and Nora, who have already kissed and shown interest in each other. However, your story has potential for length. You just need to add a longer, deeper plot and you'll have those 20 chapters.

8. In a word: Gideon. See question 7 for more detail.

I hope that this helps, and is not incredibly harsh.

C
AngelaSolis chapter 6 . 5/5/2005
Hmm wtf no paragraphs. I had them I swear!
AngelaSolis chapter 7 . 5/5/2005
Quid Pro Quo: Literally ‘something for something’, a fair exchange, something given in return for a previous item of equivalent value. I wonder what it’s going to be! I just re-read the long review I wrote and I see you can’t use 3 letters together on here. So what was supposed to be ‘Mr-r-r-r-r . Right …’ came out as ‘Mr. Right’ and ‘GR-R-R-R as GR’. So I won’t do that again. I hate things looking as though I haven’t spell-checked/typo’d and not , Gabriella: AKA Gaby/Ella/Bella … you choose. Gabriella Atalanta Robinson. (I’m worried she’s going to be a cliché though, that’s the problem. I think I’ll have to create a Chinese version of her too or something.)My first vision of her: She’s 17, she’s Junior but she likes to hang out with the Seniors because that makes her look cool in the eyes of her peers, who she treats mainly with disdain. I guess she’s the queen of the ‘Mean Girls ‘plastics’ type girl but she’s really not as clichéd. She doesn’t go out of her way to be bitchy, she just is by default. She’s an only child and her wealthy parents spoil her rotten and that’s made her manipulative and selfish. She has to get her own way and the last word … always. She has her cronies, mainly girls who aren’t as pretty as her – competition not allowed. Nora’s been aware of her of course, but she’s the kind of girl Nora would run a million miles from. Of course the boys think she’s pretty and she gets lots of dates. She doesn’t have a steady boyfriend though as she prefers to play the field and break hearts all over the place. Power/control freak – she always dumps first. She hangs out with a group that includes Gideon. She wants to conquest him – been trying for ages … you know how beautiful people are attracted to each other? Well she’s wanted to go out with him for a long time and it irks her greatly that he’s never so much as asked her to a movie alone, only with the gang. Thing is, although he fancies her physically, he just doesn’t like her … at all. She doesn’t give up though. Oh no! It’s the thrill of the chase and the I want/I must , she’s gorgeous. Tall, about 5’ 10”, slim, long, shiny, never-goes-fluffy-even-when-it-rains caramel, streaky, just-got-out-of-bed hair. Radiant tawny skin with hardly ever a zit, she looks great even without make-up. She’d like to be a model, only part-time for a bit of pocket money of course as she has a bit of brain too. She’s making me barf with jealousy already! I want her to have turquoise green/blue eyes and to look like a Nordic goddess but that really would be a cliché maybe so she’ll have to have Catharine Zeta-Jones chestnut eyes and eyebrows darker than her hair. Her lips are not quite as pouty as Angelina Jolie’s, but full. Wide smile, perfect teeth. She’s as vain as hell and can’t pass a mirror without pouting sexily at it. She nearly always wears a white T-shirt and skinny jeans and cowboy boots. Oops … am I writing too much detail here? I’m rather enjoying it now I’ve got going, you said ‘vague’. Sorry!*Stops*.Plan B: Ming Angela del Lago. US Italian father/Chinese mother. Middle class, 17, ditto likes to hang out with Seniors, only child etc. Spoilt, clever, sassy, sarcastic, bitchy, has to have own way but more subtle. Like Gaby in most respects but has Chinese inscrutability and seeming-lack of emotion in spades. Guys find her intriguing and attractive but a little scary. She’s really clever and quite a swotty type of girl. Her mother wants her to succeed where she never did and is very pushy. She wants her to go to an Ivy League University. Unlike Gaby, she tries to appear nice most of the time but underneath she’s scheming. She too has always fancied Gid. Well, who wouldn’t? She hasn’t gone out with boys hardly at all due to parental over-protection but now she’s older they’re more relaxed, even though they’d rather she was studying. So she’s right in there being Miss Nice, fun to be with, makes you laugh etc. but underneath she’s not so secure. But she’s a tryer …! Nora finds her scary … well she’s gorgeous of course! Delicate, like the Ming vase she’s named after, tall, slim, waist-length shiny curtain of dark brown hair with a chestnut sheen. (Gah, I’m in the middle of writing this and Lauren asks me how she should wear her hair to Prom … I’m flattered naturally ;) ) Green, yes, green, (genetic Italian throwbacks are allowed) almond-shaped eyes, porcelain skin, fabulous cheekbones with a hint of blush, perfect lips and a generous smile. She also wears the white T-shirt etc. I hate her. ! Annd, missy … I want to be asked to contribute because I have something valid to say … yay for merit … not because of ‘Oh alright, because I’m me etc.’ :P :P I was almost offended there *grin*Oh dear. This has got long hasn’t it? Yanno, I’m a bit worried about how you’re gonna reply to all those reviews, write the next chapter, totally change the plot AND do some school work. *meaningfuI stare* I mean it’s taken me all day to write this! (Not quite, but you know what I mean.) And, the rate this is going, I do declare you might even make the 500! Go you! w00t! *hugs* Oh, and develop the character of the cat….
MovieFanficChains chapter 7 . 5/5/2005
More, please! Soon! :)
MovieFanficChains chapter 6 . 5/5/2005
Whoa, he kissed her? How random! :) But heck, if that doesn't get her better and over to his house tomorrow, then nothing will! :)
MovieFanficChains chapter 5 . 5/5/2005
hehe, still very funny and enjoyable! On to the next chapter...
MovieFanficChains chapter 4 . 5/5/2005
Lol, loved the bathroom scene! Gideon wrote her that note? Wow, he's either a playboy trying to add to his harem or he's fallen for her incredibly fast! :)
MovieFanficChains chapter 3 . 5/5/2005
Omg! What was Gideon doing home! Lol, that was hilarious!
MovieFanficChains chapter 2 . 5/5/2005
Still great, still lovin' it!
743 | « Prev Page 1 .. 30 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 .. Last Next »