|Reviews for Strange Communion|
| Kitsune Ryuu Youkai chapter 1 . 10/24/2005
WOULD YOU BELIEVE I STARTED CRYING! You're writing is so god! It throughly touched my heart and soul. You truly inspire people like me to be better at what we do and for that I thank you. Oh just so ya know you are no longer just an author who writes good now you're considered a friend in my book(my minds twisted I know) Love Ya! Kitsune Ryuu Youkai
| Theory Of The 4th Dimension chapter 1 . 10/15/2005
This really captures my attention. The words are so hypnotic and attractive. I would honestly say I enjoyed it.
Though (its only my opinion) this line, "And the road churns by" doesn't seem right. Maybe its cos you used the same verb on the last line. Maybe if you just change the verb to something else, cos it jst sounds clumsy.
But overall, very well-written. I wish I could write like this sometimes.
| ShadowOfTheFallen chapter 1 . 7/16/2005
You have great talent as a writer. You are absolutely amazing. *bows* Once again I am impressed.
| catseyeview chapter 1 . 7/2/2005
I missed reading your writing...this is an excellent piece, just the opening lines "The road is one long, lonely heartbeat. A long, black, cold, coiling passage into infinity." The depth throughout this piece is wonderful.
| WickedSilence chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
I find this a very weighted poem; it took me two readings to understand the purpose of this poem. Personally I liked the beginning stanzas more than the stanzas on love, because the emotion was more forceful and immediate. The love stanzas were a bit of a let down after the earlier lines, but the last stanza raised this poem back up to its previous level. The repetition built up the emotion to be perfectly released with the final line. Overall, it is a good poem.
| Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 6/12/2005
oh sm1s busy at 1:04am, lol! i like this, very descriptive and emotional. nice writing. post moer, now!
| The Daughters of Derrida chapter 1 . 6/6/2005
Hi! You emailed us a while ago (a very long while ago-sorry) asking us to review some of your work. So here we are. Sorry it took us so long, but you know how real life is. Anyway, on to the critique: Your poem has a vagueness that makes it hard to hold on to. The vagueness comes from your use of words that mean very different things to different people, because they are words that are used to talk about broad ideas. "Love", "soul", "being", "pain", and "human" have been used so many times in so many different ways that you can't just say them and expect the reader to know what you're talking about. Of course you can write poems about them-you have to-but the point of the poem is then to define the images YOUR way. Additionally, your poem talks about all these different things at once, flooding the reader with images. For examle, in the first stanza, what is the point of the thin film of water? A the moment it is just sitting stagnant on the road hatching may flies. It doesn't add anything. Also, some of your images seem incomplete. The line "And off to either side the night's embrace beckons seductively" can be considered a lot of different ways-like suicide (a bad thing) or getting off the beaten track (which one would think would be a good thing). It's hard to keep any meaning in mind if all your images keep flying off every which way. It seems like you are just describing some situation as it comes to you, rather than actually saying something. We're sure that you had something in mind when you wrote this-find that and fixate on it. And make everything CONNECT. For example, why is it "A strange communion"? We like that as an ending but it doesn't really fit with anything. Nothing in the poem points to a strangeness-rather it seems it should be natural, just what happens. But speaking of which, you have an awesome ending. The play between communing and communion is interesting, since the words, though similar, aren't usually used in conjunction with each other. Communing has a connotation of spirits and mysticism, while communion is more of a traditional Christian sort of word. On the whole, we will just say that it seemed like there was something going on behind your poem, you just aren't quite expressing it clearly. Siging off, the Daughters of Derrida.
| Lain Dolohov chapter 1 . 6/3/2005
You seem to have a fair enough sense of flow (christ, definitely more than 99% of people on this site). I think the main problem here, if I may be so bold, is the need for more original concepts and images.
"melancholic aloneness" "deep black melancholy" Words and concepts shouldn't be repeated, and certainly not in that abstract (abstract dull) way without concrete images to ground them.
"the only road that I have ever known"
| Wasted Postage chapter 1 . 5/6/2005
Woa! Major kudos to you, man! Free verse never was my forte, so I have great respect for you.
This poem was AMAZING, and not to mention pretty deep. Also, your imagery was awesome. I think that the second to last stanza was my favorite.
Excellent work on this!
| Kat-Renee Kittel chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
Sometimes I feel that my life-walk with Father is like your poem - a strange communion that goes beyond the pain, a "redemption drifing upon a cloud shining like the sun."
Sometimes, I look up into the midnight starry sky, and feel his mercy mingling with the small piercing points of light sparkling in the darkness. ..
| Unknown Unnamed chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
I really liked how you compared life to a car ride. Very unique. The long lines and repetitiveness were really good. They complimented the poem, rather than taking away from it, which in some cases they can do that. You put this together beautifully.
Also, thank you for the reviews. They were lovely. _
| I Found Myself At 24 chapter 1 . 4/30/2005
Beautiful job Matt! I really like this one. It's going straight in my book of faves that I'm making! Great job and keep up the wonderful work! :P
| Liebchen Rose chapter 1 . 4/29/2005
This is one of your best pieces yet, darling. You did well with the mixing of melancholy and love. Beautiful.
Much Love, AlwaysHawke