|Reviews for Anti Poem to: Love as a Metallurgist|
| The Breakdancing Ninja chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
This one had good a good analogy to start with. I think a good majority have friendships/relationships that remain constant and un-malleable, but it's worst in intimate relationships, which is supposed to be like, -the- big catalyst for growth and development. "Unworked and rough" is a manly, journalistic description, but "unworked" doesn't seem like it's doing any actual work in the description. I might try for... hm. I might have to think of a good adjective.
I like how this piece of unworked metal was actually the speaker's life; it says a good deal about what the speaker thinks about Love. Because the piece of metal could have easily been a discarded object, not really attached to the speaker in any way. But this made much more sense. I could see dents on the speaker's heart everything (corny).
I would replace "Finished" with "Unfinished". Because though the relationship is over, I don't think the person's life is, by the way the poem ends.
| mepoindexter chapter 1 . 9/4/2005
I can relate to this poem.
I see it as there is no "quick fix" or "easy way" out of your problems. Sometimes you have to take what you are, and forge it into what you need to be.
Intresting. I liked it. Short and effective.
| catseyeview chapter 1 . 5/6/2005
That last stanza, strong voice here. I love it. "The only way to return...beat my life back into shape."
| swift sky silver chapter 1 . 5/4/2005
this is very well written. i enjoyed reading it. keep up the great work 0)
| Munchin chapter 1 . 5/3/2005
um.. i like this metaphor. I like your comparison.. Well done
| Tempest Breeze chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
i like the metaphore in this good work.
| Stassney chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
this is great ... i think everyone can relate to it and that always makes a poem better
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
| poetic abortion chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
Beautiful, really it is. -
!~* Noelle *~!
| Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 5/2/2005
ah i like i like! wonderful work!