Reviews for You
dustytiger chapter 1 . 8/29/2006
wow, this is beautiful, whoever this is written for is a lucky person, this is a wonderful peice of poetry, i wasn't sure about the formating when i clicked on it, but reading it, it works perefectly WOW great work, thank you for the reivew and thank you for sharing this wonderful peice
Purified Angel chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
*ahem*...it's so cute! xD...wonder if it's actually u like this in real life with another girl. hm..i wonder...anywayz, nice poem, i really like it P
HauntedMisery chapter 1 . 6/15/2005
Awesome work!
AllyCred chapter 1 . 6/15/2005
so many different images come to mind when reading this, and not only images but feelings, this has to be one of the best poems i have read...well done on an amazing piece of art...i love it. lots of love AllyCred
white-clouds chapter 1 . 5/26/2005
Beautiful.

"it's something that I would sacrifice my heart so I'm empty to share with you your tears"

Man, that's just great.
obsidian katana chapter 1 . 5/23/2005
beautiful poem. so sweet, wonderfully written, heartfelt and full of emotion. i like piece this a lot. good use of repetition and parallelism, i like that a lot. beautiful. awesome work! _
Moonjava chapter 1 . 5/21/2005
This is very touching and yet incredibly sad at the same time. I was really able to feel this poem through me.
KonekOniko chapter 1 . 5/18/2005
it's something that i would sacrifice my heart/so i'm empty to share with you your tears. somehow, those two lines brought a smile to my face. really sweet.
Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 5/15/2005
This is lovely and the sacrifice lines convey much.
QueenVixta chapter 1 . 5/15/2005
This is really beautiful, I can see that you put everything you had into it and it paid off. Good job. QueenVixta
Cry Tears of Darkness chapter 1 . 5/14/2005
nice poem very deep and emotional. sorry not in a reviewing mood, k. anyhoo, nice works.
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/13/2005
::sigh:; weve all experienced this... tahnks for your review!
Cloud Burst chapter 1 . 5/12/2005
utterly beautiful and just as sad... very well worded and lovely imagery and details. i really enjoyed this! awesome poem!
mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 5/12/2005
wow, this truly is one of your best works i can feel the extremely longing and adoration you feel Great job!

keep writing!
Kakyou Takashiro chapter 1 . 5/11/2005
haha. i see the correlation. don't use semi-colons like that, it makes your stanzas choppy, and they are already free verse one liners. and the touch of the shakespearian is unique, but i think that the lack of imagery would work a little better, i mean. "oh, banish me to a deserted island," sounds a little off, be more direct, "oh, tear into me and leave me be." would sound more resolute. i think you've got the hang of the diction, and the prose and the flow. however, if you're trying to learn from me, you need to be more direct. then again, i don't like the concept of one's imitation. i think you should develop your own style, which right here shows potential enough for great things. generally though, this is a very serious tone for a poem about a dedication. under the genre of love, in my opinion is a waste of words so powerful. love itself is a powerful emotion and when writing romantic poetry, you should humble to you pen. but when writing about life, reality, war, etc, you are your pen's master. so clearly this is more proper of a diction for that case. at the same time, all literation and composition is subjective.

much expected from months of work, although i still stand by the ideal that what the truest form of the pen should come in seconds not months.

kakyou
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