Slept okay .. still don't feel wonderful, though .. I worked on you. :(

I haven't changed .. I have a hard time getting online myself .. when I'm not at school I'm at work and when I'm not at work I'm at church and when I'm not at church I'm attempting to (and failing to get) sleep ..

I'm not trying to abandon you .. *feels heartbroken.*

I'm glad you love me.

But I get annoyed for some reason, when I bust a gut to get online and you haven't written anything hardly.

I'm beginning to be convinced that my theory is correct. You've really changed lately.

It's snowing. I hope it snows lots so we get some powder skiing.

Got to go ... take care of yourself.

I feel abandoned.

*hugs you all the way to school*

I love you. You know I do. Don't ever think for a moment that I don't love my mama.

Aww .. I sent out a forward that says to sum me up in one word and send it to me and then I'll do the same for them .. only Becca and Anjie replied .. Becca said 'humorous' and Anj said 'angel' .. :(

No, didn't sleep well. But I never do anymore.

*hugs you and goes to school* I love you.

I have about 3 minutes to write befoer my time runs out ... on public comp.

Hope you slept well. I didn't. My mood is so up and down at the moment ... I'm not liking it at all. Guess it must be hormonal or something.

I love you and miss you. A lot. I miss being home too and I don't like having to be someone's guest all the time. I'm too used to doing what I want!

Bye for now.

I'll probably get on at the conference centre later.

Be strong and good and all those things.

*cuddly hugs*

I'm really glad you're having a good time, because you needed one .. if it makes you feel any better, though, my nights are shit too.

Well, Jennifer's just a general editor, and I'm a managing one, so hah. Churchy, yeah, but it was fun .. we sang at a church, forgot a good page of words, then went to Wendys, where Ben regaled us with his lovely jokes involving making your hands into the shape of a vagina and speaking through it. _ My ears .. are a bit better, but they still have painful bouts and I still have vertigo every now and then ..

Don't sneak anywhere, for the love of God, I'm not that important.

Yes, I love on you all the time in my mind, but I miss you horribly and like I said, nights are hard .. I *do* feel a bit distant .. can't help that .. it just happens ..

*soft sigh.* Yeah, only a few days .. *hugs you back for as long as she can.*

Well, it's 5pm and the day is looking up considerably.

Firstly, when I left you I met some of the docs for lunch ... took me 40 mins of skiing like a rocket to catch up with them and they'd moreorless finished lunch by the time I arrived. But I had some raspberry tart, a grappa, a glass of wine and some coffee simultaneously set in front of me ... which was all very nice. You can't imagine how wonderful it is to be sitting outside surrounded by mountain peaks, dazzling snow, brilliant blue sky ... warm-ish ... on 24th of January. Yes, very nice.

After lunch I ended up skiing with the ones who can't ski more than one run without a hot chocolate with quadruple rum ... and everyone was in a good mood and friendly ... so things are looking up I guess.

But ... haha ... thanks to the pallyness of those drinks, I am now sitting in the conference hall ... with anaesthetists delivering lectures (there must be nearly 250 people here and powerpoint presentations etc ...) all delivered with good humour ... trying not to listen ... plugged in to their LAN on my own effing computer. I hope I've managed to mute the sounds on here or it could be embarrassing!

Yay! Life is sweet so I'll use this opportunity to write lots as I don't know quite when I'll be able to do it again. Hopefully tomorrow.

The skiing here is wonderful and I'm enjoying all that side of it ... my legs and boots and everything seem to be holding up okay. I'm getting all the sunshine that I need.

The nights aren't too good. I can't sleep ... start thinking too much ... wake up pretty shattered. But could be worse.

So ... write to me, send me a letter ... etc etc.

You sound kinda sad. Wish you didn't. But you know you can write what you want - positive, negative .. whatever. When I go on holiday it's not like 'normal' people going on holiday. I'm just somewhere else. (And I'm not normal either!)

That *is* really good about the lit mag ... very proud of you. LOL Jenn ... bit quick off the mark.

Sounds like you had a very churchy day on Sunday. Not exactly restful. Hope the ears are better ... you didn't say.

(I'm learning about hypoglycaemic babies in the background).

Not a lot else to say really. I get so frustrated when getting online isn't easy. Wish it was always like this ... I don't know when this building gets locked up, but I'll try to sneak in again. Sorry the typing was so crap this morning ... I was just trying to be quick.

I'll be back soon. Only a few days eh?

I love you and I miss you and I'm holding you tight in my mind all the time. I hope you are doing the same for me too. Don't feel distant sweetheart.

Lots of love and x

*hugs you and cuddles you and nuzzles you and says goodbye for now*

I found a better place ... its 12.15

Im so slow on this keyboard. Going to change over to gmail now.

Of course I can feel your blown kiss! Thank you for that *blows one back*

It's okay .. I swear, I'll be okay .. I hope ..

It's not out of sight out of mind, it's I-was-never-home-all-weekend, it's I-have-35359285238-homework-assignments-due, and it's also I'm-tired-due-to-all-of-the-above. I can feel myself wilting and it's only monday ..

I wish you didn't feel bored and lonely .. haven't you met anybody? Is there not a single person that you've connected with/to? Damn ..

*sigh.* Wish you didn't have to go .. it's not that I have nothing to say, but if I had anything *to* say, it'd be pretty negative, considering I'm kinda busy right now, and I didn't want to give you anything negative because I want you to be happy and vacation-y .. but Christ, I miss you more than I ever have before, and it's too hard to sit here and not cry because you were here, but you're too damn far away, and I can't get a foothold/dig my nails into your mind like I normally can, and that scares me ..

*wipes tears off cheeks* I love you. Very much. *blows you a kiss you'll never feel.*

.. did you read it and not say anything? That's borderline cruel.

Let it just suffice to say that I'm doing okay, but not too, too well .. I really just miss you .. I miss your words and your love ..

This has to be the worst place in Europe for getting online. Theres nowhere to do it and this is a french keyboard and all the letters are in the wrong places. My own computer cant work here ... so not a lot of good really ... sorry :(

Well, as I cant get on and write much, at least you can. In 3 days you have nothing to say? Weird.

The skiing is wonderful, the weather is perfect, but ... I feel kind of bored and lonely.

I miss you. Ill try to write again but not sure its worth the hassle if you dont bother to write anything. Out of sight, out of mind eh?

Gotta go now.

*loves you and hugs you tightly*

It just keeps getting more and more lonely .. damn, I miss you ..

Christ, I miss my mama ..

Jordan and I were going to go catch a movie, but when we got to the theatre her parents were there (sheer coincidence!), so we decided that was lame and went to the mall of georgia, where we walked around forever, and then we went to walmart and read trashy romance novels aloud to each other .. and then it was 11.30 so I just crashed at her house .. I'm sorry I never said bye. :(

Clau *is* sweet .. I'm glad they took care of you like that.

I hope nothing happens too .. although I submitted my application for Lit Mag same day as Jennifer, and she already got her response and I didn't .. either the email didn't go through or Ms. Henderson didn't accept me for staff. :( Typical Jennifer, emailing me, "Did you get your letter from Ms. Henderson yet!" .. bitch.

I miss you already, and it hasn't been very long at all .. :'( There's a hockey game tonight, so that'll be fun, and Nina's got a birthday party later on, and a playdate tomorrow (SHE'S popular.) Sunday, I have to be at church at 9 (or is it 8?) to drive out to some church out in the boondocks to sing, and then go eat lunch and hang out at church until 2, then come back to church at 4, because we're having a ring-off from 4-6 .. in short, I don't get any sleep this weekend. *_*

I love you too. And I try to be a big girl .. it's just hard sometimes, but I'm okay. I think I'll go upstairs with my book and see if I can fall asleep .. I'm sleepy.

*hugs you until you pop and nuzzles you to death.* I hope you're having fun. I love you, mama.