Interesting topic. Perhaps needs a bit of touching up with stanzas and more subject. I like the emotion presented here.

This is a great poem - the imagery in it is very powerful, and I especially like the lines you quoted in your summary "Her breath is burning hot/And reeks of sickness".

Keep up the good writing!

Quite harrowing, there's some great descriptions. I also got the impression it's to do with post-natal depression? That's how I read it anyway.

I would suggest you divide it up into stanzas to seperate different points of the poem.