|Reviews for Avatars: Light and Shadow|
| Empress Lilith chapter 5 . 8/3/2005
ok...i'm lost...was chapter four the "new" chapter? If it was, like I think it is...it was really good. Hm...I wonder what the squirrel wants?
| Daja chapter 5 . 8/2/2005
Arrg to the Teasers! Arrg! The only reason I read it is because Ch. 4 was just so good the monentum carried.
But in honor of Ch. 4, I'll review
Good: Mysterious Endings, Diction (i.e Some carried many items from the day’s exploration, others carried less, and still others carried nothing.), Politics, but you need (underscore underscore) to develop the politics gradually and not just kill us with it and wonder where it came from.
Bad: Foreshadowing... it should be a bit more subltle... that's it really for me... also seemingly random scene jumps show be transitioned into or seperated better.
| Daja chapter 4 . 8/2/2005
! Well, this is by far my favorite chapter in the way of plot development. Finally I can see where this is going, and if I do say so, good job.
First, and foremost I like the tone of this chapter. It's a lot more focaused and realistic. I also like the insight to Shadows character and the observing view of the princess. Also you gave him more dept showing that even if he does evil, it's not all his choice and is more layered.
The Spirit guide thing remineded me so much Secret of Mana Theater it's sad. 2 brownie points.
Finally, God of the Shadows? Nice.
| Daae Diva chapter 4 . 7/29/2005
THE PRINCESS HAS A NA-AAME! THE PRINCESS HAS A NA-AAME! Very nice. sorry I couldn't review sooner, I was in Japan. Nyah nyah! I'd talk more, but it's three thirty am and I'm jetlagged. Fare thee well
| Empress Lilith chapter 4 . 7/21/2005
Suzy! It's Sami! I gots an account now!So...on with my review!... I really like this story! And I like these Teaser things...they're good. Keep up the good work!
| Daja chapter 3 . 7/11/2005
"Now tell me princess, why do you journey to my forest to escape your father and his obnoxious ways"... didn't he answer his own question?
Besides that, I love Mr. Shadow! Cool, Calm, Suave, and Collected. I like him a lot!...let me guess... now you're going to kill him off, just so I cry. Still, even though he seems nice I'm sensing an evil vibe from him. Hmm...
| Daja chapter 2 . 7/11/2005
I like you're wordings a lot, very subtle, and at the same time I like the pasing of the story, fast yet still realistic, and not dewlling on anything in particular.
Two complaints... one, if you are about to die and be eaten by a horrible monster.. do you really think about all the free cothes your sisters are going to take?
Also when you said, "Nanny Elaine had put up with more than what the new solider recruits had to go through, and that was saying a lot, since the recruits don’t go through a lot." were you being sarcastic or do you mean that she puts up with more than the new recruits, which is saying a lot because the new recruits go through a lot? Either way, that was a bit confusing...
| Daae Diva chapter 3 . 6/6/2005
AND THE PLOT THICKENS!sorry, couldn't additional development of Lucia and Nani, but I'd maybe work on the princess, by, I don't know, giving her a name?And from what we've seen of her so far, she might not be quite so...easygoing about the whole EEK! I've been kidnapped and taken down to some guy's batcave!Again, sorry, I'm nice plot coming along.I expect an award for bestest reviewer ever.
| Daae Diva chapter 2 . 5/26/2005
WOOHOO!'nuther chapter!...now down to business. Pretty good dialogue, maybe a little superfluous in some places, but otherwise very development good, maybe a little more needed on Nani and Lucia. They seem to be the same character with different names at this the plot so far, good else?Ew I love spiders. But dying wheezing hacking spiders not job, darling.
| aisery chapter 2 . 5/25/2005
this seems interesting... it's quite unclear as to where it will lead but nonetheless intriguing...
| Daja chapter 1 . 5/23/2005
Lovely first installment, and I'm intreged as to how the opening fits in with the story. Cool plot.
| Daae Diva chapter 1 . 5/21/2005
Nice plot sweetums! At least, what I can see (and guess) of complaint: Darling, this looks to be in a medieval, maybe Rannaisance era. So why are there modern speech patterns?Just a thought.I really like the intro a lot. Finish the next chapter! Ready GO!And you still owe me two dollars.