|Reviews for Inner war|
| Sanya chapter 1 . 5/31/2009
A ABSOLUTLEY ASTONISHINGLY BEAUTIFUL PIECE
I CNT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW EMOTIVE THIS PIECE IS
IT TLKS OF THE STRUGGLE AND CONFUSION 1 FACES IN LIFE
IT MAKES U REFLECT UOPN LIFE!
IT ENDS SO BEAUTIFULLY
A TOTALLY ORIGINAL UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL PIECE I MEAN READIN THIS
MAKES ME THINK HU THE F* IS J. !
I CNT THNK THE AUTHOR ENOUGH FOR SHARIN THIS WITH US !
PLZ RYT MORE I NEED UR POETRY LIKE A FAT KID NEEDZ CAKE!
| Aithwayth chapter 1 . 6/26/2005
"I could feel my confidence lowering every time I didn’t found anything good."
should be find
I personally think it is the hardest and most enduring battle to overcome your fears and woes. But in truth as long as you don't give up you will survive.
Here's the constructive critism:
It seems like you are trying to get the main idea of it all down. You have a VERY good plot here and should work with it. I noticed that everything is centered, which you might want to pull to the left. Also, your sentences are kind of choppy and there is a repetition of words. Place more description in it. Are you on a beach? if you what does it look like? For instance, I walked along a beach that contained a red sky and a black abyss that was the ocean. What color are the sand pieces? You can thoroughly make this awesome. Like I said before the plot is really good. Keep it up!