Reviews for Out of Focus |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I love your story! It's great. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Is that it? But... Bleshavixigevuggghbh... It's cool.. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is pretty amazing! Way fast paced but I enjoyed it (: |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay, I know this is a pretty old story now, and you may have totally improved on the things I'm about to note, but I just feel the need. If you don't want to read anymore, feel free to stop here. Really, really LOVED the concept. Great plot, very realistic, loved it. You had me. But then you lost me. You started out absolutely perfect. Descriptive, great image, and the feelings of the characters are all there. But then you kinda just drifted off. The sensory language decreased, and it started to become a rather boring story that might as well been told orally to me from one of the gossip friends. Even more so, I didn't hear much about the feelings of the characters and exactly what they were struggling through. Sure, there were about three sentences where Robbie was telling us how he felt, but that's not what I'm talking about. What happened to showing us how he felt? Personally I think a story like this is much better off a continuous series (again, I know this is like five years old already, but just making a point), because then you have time to really make the reader sympathize with the characters. You also have time to fit some more descriptive language in there. I'd really love to know exactly how that first date went. But again, I really loved the entire concept. The twist and turns of the story (I didn't expect the London part, but maybe I'm just slow), and the cunningness of the characters. Truly a great job! ~Aki-Kaze |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh gosh, I know this is old (hey, i was like fourteen when you wrote this, so don't blame me!) but WOW this was good! I love gay romance, and this really takes the cake. Very descriptive, and I liked how everything came full circle. It was really sweet how much they secretly liked each other and came such a long way. The only real negative criticism I have is the whole.. promiscuous sex thing... *shudder* but great job! favorited! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cute. Not overly sentimental, but realistic. I liked it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() this is so cute! i love it! you have to write more! |
![]() ![]() ![]() trystan is an ass how can he hook up just after a blowjob from a stranger? oh well cute story...- |
![]() ![]() ![]() great storyline |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aw, that was so adorable and cute. I admit, at first, I wasn't sure about reading this fic, but now i'm glad I did. Really cute and heart-warming. I love it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow, really amazing story! loved it :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Cute! : ) I'm glsd they got back together. The tribulations of life can get in the way, but love always finds a way to conquer. _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() aw...thts cute! this was a nice little love story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Heh, that was cute. Lovely writing. _ By the way, I love your summary's. _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Veet Veet! I don't know, is that an alternative to "woot"?Anywho, that was so cute and realistic (unlike many things...including my writing at times, sniff). Yeah, that means I liked it. |