Reviews for Fan Like a Moth
Weeba chapter 1 . 6/6/2005
Hm...you've done a beautiful job with the imagery and the phrasing in this poem, but I think that you focussed so much on that that you forgot to make your point, the transition you mentioned in the summary. Maybe I'm just stupid or blind, but to me this seemed a little obscure; I didn't really see what you were getting at. It's OK to not be getting at anything, but you said in your summary that you were trying to, so...

Anyway, call me stupid, but that's what I thought. Keep writing!

~Weeba~
evm chapter 1 . 5/31/2005
beautiful imagery, this is wonderful!
myno chapter 1 . 5/31/2005
hmm... excellent imagery here. the last line would i think be better split into 2 lines-

Silence will trail after the sound /like a shadow trails after light.
smile persephone chapter 1 . 5/31/2005
This poem was very lovely. I loved the 'melting lamplight' part. The ending line really just makes the poem so perfect. The imagery in this was amazing. Nicely done!
0100010010010001010010 chapter 1 . 5/31/2005
..well yup. when you asked me to review it i got worried because normally i'm used to having to review bad work...BUT...this piece is genuinly really good. you have a good command of appropriate imagery. I can't quite decypher the message because i've only had a quick read. but thats my problem not the writer's. so yeah good job. nice structure too. I hate FP's poor layout thing where it spaces the lines out. just change the br 's to p 's in verses in the edit section on the upload bit. yup so bye.