|Reviews for When Time Sleeps|
| Eyetk chapter 1 . 10/10/2005
Gosh, I owe you so many reviews...I feel terrible. If I still believed in those little text smiley-faces, I'd have a frowning one here expressing how sorry I am.
I'm sorry! I'm trying to catch up! You're right, I've had writer's block for a while...and reader's block, and reviewer's block, so, um...yeah.
Okay, right. To make myself feel better, I'm going to pick this apart and hope it turns out longer than my apology.
(Yeah, I know I've reviewed later chapters, but I owe you so many reviews...)
Cheers! Sorcerers ain't always evil. Well...hey. I dunno, but 'Sorceress' sounds nifty, and yet they always get bashed in fairy tales. Right. I play too much D&D.
Hmm. I don't know so much about the 'I knew I was going to be short'. Actually, I'm quite short myself, but I was -really- a midget (along with the rest of my class) up until...well, thirteen. If this was all happening years before she was thirteen, as the story seems to imply, wouldn't she have some hope left, or something?
Besides which, all the guys in my class were midgets, too, until fourteen-fifteen. Then they all began towering over me, and I finally realized how short I actually was.
Hmm. Does she like being short, or hate it? It seems like she needs reassurance, but then she can do all these funny things that no one else can do.
Okay, well, a couple of random thoughts, and thanks for all your patience!
| ADSpencer chapter 11 . 10/10/2005
Awesome chapter! Awesome lesson! This chapter was very well thought out! I enjoyed it!
| Athene Saille chapter 14 . 10/10/2005
This is so cute, and I'm guessing that Lucie is going to be one of the fairies to give a gift to Aurora, who's the King's heir. Unless I'm completely off in my thinking. Can't wait to see if there's going to be a Prince also!
| Plinky chapter 8 . 10/10/2005
Great chapter! I'm amazed at all the inventive tests! I love Lucie's character, she's really easy to identify with. great story!
| Plinky chapter 7 . 10/10/2005
Great chapter! Wow, interesting wake up call. Horrible thought! Madame Oxentiel sounds horrible! And those girls too. :-( story!
| Plinky chapter 6 . 10/10/2005
Great chapter! I love the sound of the school, and Adriel could be an interesting character. Yay! Great story.
| rrmehta364 chapter 14 . 10/9/2005
well i'm looking forward to seeing the 'real' story but i think ill miss lucie if you introduce the other characters in depth. i'm beginning to really like her. Plus, I
| rrmehta364 chapter 13 . 10/9/2005
i really liked this chapter. i really like the way you described lucie's emotions at coming home. especially the ending sentence. dunno, but your chapters have a way of finishing stronger thant the beginnings. this was definately one of your best chapters. i don't have any new complaints, so i wont dither in my review.
| rrmehta364 chapter 12 . 10/9/2005
i like adriel. a little airheaded, but good natured. here's one place where some really good description is really important. the first time you show a scene i think its important to really describe it well. i really never got a feel of being in the city here. while you said the city was a cocophonous noisy place, who are making the noises. what are the street vendors selling. the Sorrelfen embassy is described as magnificent, but how is it magnificent. also, this chpter is prbbly a good way for us to learn a little about this world. i'm curious as to how common magic is, how many practicers there are, and how it effects the life of the average life. still good chpter. i like learning a little bit about the motivations and thoughts of characters. the last few paragraphs of the chapter are especially well done.
| rrmehta364 chapter 10 . 10/9/2005
dunno if penmanship is enough to make someone take a class. seems way to trivial. i like adriel a lot. lucie is a bit the typical fantasy sheroine, strong, powerful and a little angry. adriel seems more like the people i know, good loyal friend, even though not brilliant. the main reason Lucie isn't a Mary Sue is she has mean thoughts and stifles them. that's important so that she seems neither too saintly, nor too arrohant. the story seems to be moving a little quickly. adding a little more description could alleviate that problem without making the plot meander. as far as the plostis concerned, I really like Toribama's lesson. Seems very practical and thoughtful. however, i dont like her response to Lucie's gift. dunno, but the way she talks, she makes it sound like the poor should always remain poor. however, lucie's mom rose from dirt poor to lower middle class (thats what i figure her mom did did) so her advice doesn't make sense. also, how big are all the schools of magic. just a random thought, but i'd like to put everything into better perspective and that information would help.
| rrmehta364 chapter 8 . 10/8/2005
interesting, another warning might be not to borrow too much from Harry Potter. great books, but this is another story. you haven't done anything obvious yet, but you might want to make something totally different or something to really differentiate the two schools. as for style, you could add more detail. a bit of advice is the more non-visual detail the better.
| rrmehta364 chapter 7 . 10/8/2005
dunno, but i figure a letter would cost a decent bit to write, so she'd probably say more. dunno, but the first sign of a mary sue is a character that talks back to stupid authorities. i think lucie's personaility makes her a mild rebel, but have the authorities be right occasionally or some other anti-mary sue twist.
| rrmehta364 chapter 6 . 10/8/2005
why does Lucie dislike Dorintha so much. She seems a little annoying but not that seems intelligent, that's but not too intelligent. very good. i'll read more now.
| rrmehta364 chapter 5 . 10/8/2005
dunno, but why would the old blood solaris be staying in a cheap in. wouldn't he find a nicer place to say? i liked the description of the smell of Goneril. I think the more none visual descriptions one can squeeze in the better. I'm a bit curious about the religion of this world.
| Arkash chapter 4 . 10/8/2005
I lke Molly's House of Records. It really gives the town and the whole story another dimension.
One question: Didn't Lucie's mother know how she had gotten her?
Very nice chapter. *_*