Reviews for Trapped Hope
XO katie OX chapter 2 . 9/25/2008
I cant wait to read more! Please write soon!
Beatrixx Ripley chapter 2 . 3/26/2007
very interesting story
Cassandra-Adara chapter 2 . 2/17/2006
This is really interesting. I love it. It's such an original take on this theme, and very well written. As I was reading this I thought, this is what happens to writers who become succesful. They get everything they want, then get locked up in a house until they go mad or finish a book.
Polished Gem chapter 2 . 12/25/2005
It's already getting intriguing. I like your writing style. It's easy to slip into reading it. It's as if you're having a conversation with the reader-except better. Keep it up. You're doing well.

-Polished Gem
Polished Gem chapter 1 . 12/25/2005
Very nicely done. I've liked this piece so far. You've explained everything very well and the story's not fragmented. One thing you might want to work on is the second to last paragraph. I don't think you need to give a whole layout of the house. It just sort of comes out as the story unfolds. Hope this review was helpful!-Polished Gem
Lersguin chapter 2 . 7/13/2005
Ug, spare us of reader-polls. If you don't know what you are doing, don't post.

On top of that, /you/ shouldn't be telling us what she knows and doesn't in author's notes. Tell us in the text. If readers wanted your take on things, we'd ask. We want narration. Preferably omniscient third-person.

Use of more than one punctuation mark at a time is extremely juveile. Don't write for reviews, it gets tedious to read.

I've read your short little narration, and I've gathered several things:

-Nadine woke up.-For some reason, she's hopelessly pessimistic and talks to herself.-She doesn't want to eb where she is. -She hasn't the intiative to try and leave.-She angsts a lot. More than necessary, and we're supposed to care. But we don't.

Presumably, she's the girl in the House of Doom, however we don't really know. She just wakes up and angsts. One would think she'd have gotten used her makeshift life by now. I mean, a short prayer is one thing, but after however many years you'd thing she'd just try to adapt. By now she'd undoubtedly have gone crazy, presumably with induced schitzophrenia. This still sounds like brainsotrming, we dstill don't give a damn about poor, poor angsty Nadine, and she's awfully unrealistic.

You probably should have researched about long-term effects of isolation.

Oh, and if she's lived in that house her whole life, or has no recolection of a life befroehand, there is no way she'd be capable of speech, or the complete English language for that matter. Yes, that means she wouldn't be able to write.

So, now that the sue-angsting is done, we move on to her miracle writing (which I can tell you write now is more angst). In which she can't properly capatalize titles.

I called it. Poor, poor girl whose death I am already rooting for. Or will her ghost angst, too?

"On special days the water in the fountain changes color. I haven’t figured out what special days since I wouldn’t really know the meaning of the days anyway."

WTF? These days are special but I have no way of knowing that? If you're going to angst uncontrollably, please make it coherant.

Don't all the books also say 'throw the coin into the well?' Or has she not read all those books?

Whose expecting anything? there's no one there.

Who the hell is she talking to? Her muse?


God dammit, no more than one punctuation mark at a time.

This painful. Is was poorly written in all the ways the prlogue was and more. the girl is unrealitic with no fragments of a personality. Gah. Ouch. Stick with your lab-sue, angst-sues just promt me to kill someone.
Lersguin chapter 1 . 7/12/2005
The title scares me. I can already feel the angsting and woe-is-meing coming on.

Plotbunnies come from odd places, ne?

:Someone else would call it paradise. They would call it a dream.

This reminds me of those exercises you have to do in kindergarten. "Combine these sentences into a COMPOUND SENTENCE. The dog ate. The dog chewed. Answer: The sog ate and chewed." Combine these, they sound repetitive as is. And no, it doesn't work for effect.

The last sentences of the first paragraph are awfully random. 'I want to leave. I don't think I know how I got here.' The latter doesn't tie in with the idea of the short little paragraph.

:What is where I am? How is the building? What type of things is in it?

How is the building? It's fine, thanks. The frst quention has a painful syntax. Do reword. The second makes no sense. The third is random (she knows what's in it, doesn't she?) and grammatically off.

:Everything that I want. Quite literally.

Two sentence fragments in a row.

:I mean like sometimes there are animals or “spirits” but no other humans.

I mean, like, you know, she was totally writing, like, the most informal sentence of MY LIFE. Gag me with a spoon!

:Oh, and of course some paper and pens.

Of course, because no true room is complete without paper and pens. O_o'

The fifth paragraph is awful. It's a bunch of random, dissconnected sentences that you don't give us any reason to care about, and aren't written well on top of that.

:Top floor is my bedroom, bathroom, and living room. Second floor is the study, workout stuff, and just about anything fancy.

Is it too much for you to type the word 'the'?

Ug, this was boring and disjointed. It read like brainsotrming, not an actual prolougue. You have good ideas, but there is no reason we should give a damn about them. There is no character in the narration- she's so impartial to everything- and your attempts at emotion are lost in informalities, poor syntax, and a struggling vocabulary. There is downwards of no description, and even less initiative to continue reading.

A plotbunny alone isn't a fic. It needs careful development.
Anters chapter 2 . 7/3/2005
You finally updated, YAY! Wow, I'm really feeling this, like being stuck alone somewhere, and how it feels. You're good at those feelings and expressing them through writting! So, is the book she is writting a book about her time in this manor, or something she is making up, because if it is real, the sleeping part is curiously intresting and weird! Man, please update quicker! I like this story!

Also, thanks for reviewing my story! That one you read was a co-op one though, if you want to read my sole story, it is the Hours of Darkness one, but none the less, thanks for reviewing! Much apprechiated! Anyways, can't wait for the new chapter! -Anters-
Anters chapter 1 . 6/14/2005
Wow, the intro was pretty nice! I like it! You're really good with your writting style, I really felt the character! Thought it is a little short, I look forward to more, keep it up! -Anters-