Reviews for Rahzthalt
Souzou-chan chapter 6 . 9/26/2005
A dark chapter indeed, but well written as usual. I wonder what that one language you wrote out translated to, but I suppose I'll be forever curious.

Pretty bloody, wow, a thrust below the eye huh? That's pretty harsh, but it works with the scene.

*thumbs up*
Souzou-chan chapter 5 . 9/26/2005
First off, Vikashar Black Lipstick Smexay! :-P

I also find the thought of a vine as a pet amusing. *giggles*

So Snooks wants answers for Fyree's death and since Vikashar knows, and obviously won't tell. Heh, he punches him. How vile. _

Good flow as always, makes it very easy to read.

BTW, the pink haired character scares me. Just cause of the pink. ROFL
Moose chapter 16 . 9/24/2005
I can't say anything in this last installment is poorly written, but it does seem like you tried to cram a heck of a lot of information into it, and it makes for a seeming bit of out of characterness. Still, I understand that you do have a lot of info to get out there. Not much else to say-er, well, besides the fact that the last line sounds like a Bibilized cliffhanger.
K.A. Douglass chapter 17 . 9/23/2005
"It is your duty to transform and magnify the force."Part of me wants to make some bad Star Wars comment, but I won't. :P

"Nothing costs me, given that Mother buys everything that I want."The difference between having well-off parents and being a brat is saying how you waste your parents' money and saying how your parents buy everything for you. Random comment, yay.

"Wishing to have power in a reasonable amount of time is not at all impatient!"But that depends on what his idea of a reasonable amount of time is. Stamping and throwing a temper tantrum doesn't help his case, either. XD

God, Vikashar is frustrating. I feel kinda bad for Kerdifplaron. I can't believe Vikashar came to her for her guidance and then had the nerve to tell her to just teach him magic when she was giving a *necessary* introduction to such a course of study, and THEN thinks she's overreacting when she tells him to stop being a pain in the ass. This is definitely one of those times where I want to shake and/or smack him. Gah x_X

"Being lazy and learning at the same time works for me."If that actually were applicable in normal life, I'd be tempted to live by a credo based upon that. :P

"Vikashar. You trained with Thalazzy earlier, did you not? Did you give him such grief?""Well, no, but I wanted to have sex with him."I chuckled quite a bit at the frankness of that response. XD;

I really liked the last line of the chapter.
Moose chapter 15 . 9/22/2005
Heh, I like the fact you make "demon" a racial slur in your story. It's just nice to see something new in the whole DEMONHORRIBLE HORRIBLE BAD! fight. I also laughed at Vikashar's little "When I ramble it's interesting" comment.

I can't offer you much advice on this installment-it was just that well written-but I do have one thing to ask: are the demons going to turn out to be the "bad guys" in Kerdifplaron's conflict? I don't mean to be blunt but it appears that side that you're suppose to root for is pretty cut and dried judging from the information in this chapter.
Todd chapter 16 . 9/17/2005
Three quarters of a chapter through, and what has Vikashar let Kerdifplaron teach him, in all that time? Some terminology, and the major differences between two of the most dominant forms of magic. A good start for Vikashar, but I think were it anyone else in his place, that person would know at least TWO rudamentary spells, by now. I swear, someday, Vikashar is going to turn his sister's sunsetish skin completely white _
Todd chapter 15 . 9/17/2005
And they're still arguing...rather, Vikashar is pushing it further. It's a good thing he does not command an army in the Neteran war, currently. He simply gets himself suck on the SMALLEST details, over and over.

Oh, though I still think of Kerdifplaron as far more mature than her brother, this amused me:

"Brother, no offense, but you could have fooled me."

"Well, I'll ignore that. If I were oh-so-sarcastic, as you thought me to be, though, then I would make some snide comment, though."

"I'm not certain what you're talking about, but you did not just ignore my remark. You responded. You responded to say that you were ignoring me. That's not ignoring me. However, this is beside the point."

"No, I did ignore what you said, because I did not reply to the words themselves. I simply said that I was going to ignore your insult against me, and I did so, as I did not refute you with an insult of my own."

"Vikashar, can you not help yourself? Why are you arguing with me over such a minor thing as this?"

"Well, because I'll not let you misconstrue my intent."
Todd chapter 14 . 9/17/2005
Kerdifplaron can read minds! How long has she been able to do this? I'm so anxious, wondering what thoughts she may have heard in recent times. Perhaps she heard some of her mother's disturbing thoughts, and one of them gave off a hint she knows blood magic? Seriously, most take Fasia to be a rich, sexy, multiple children bearing girl, who is air headed and would be foreign to battle. Just watch, when one of these days she is challenged, then steps up and drains her opponent's soul with a snap of her fingers.
K.A. Douglass chapter 16 . 9/17/2005
"Vikashar opened his mouth, then quickly closed it, tilting his head to one side as he pondered how best to answer his sister's inquiry."-Vikashar is so cute. :D Hee.

"You are a woman of much rambling, as well.""You cannot criticize me for that, Vikashar, lest you wish to be a hypocrite, and I seem to recall that you abhor hypocrisy.""I hate it when others are hypocritical, but I don't usually care if I am. Anyway, though, what is your point?"...He is such a brat. XD;; Good at giving people headaches, too.

Ah, so that's where Alchemaestrius' alias comes from? Cool. I'm also curious about whether Fasia really does continue to use bloodmagic... will that be revealed in future chapters, maybe? *poke*

"Certain laws say that energy can be neither created nor destroyed, but it can merely change forms. This is the scientific theory of magic; that it is but another form of energy, one which has existed eternally."-Ah, but if it's another form of energy, would it have had to exist eternally? Or could it have been the result of later changes in form of energy? But then I guess energy is always changing its form and has been doing so forever, so my curiosities are probably pointless. ;

"Just give me some fucking power already!"Vikashar power HOR. :O
A September Rose chapter 16 . 9/14/2005
I would say that it's good they finally stopped arguing and got down to the magic, but it looks as if they're going to be going at it right through the whole lesson. V likes to provoke people, doesn't he? Even people who are helping him.

Keep going.
Moose chapter 14 . 9/13/2005
I'm not one to question the existance of a chapter, but quite frankly this one seems more like a transition with minimal important information. I'm not saying it's poorly written (because it most certainly is not), but it seems more like an interlude for the next chapter than a freestanding one. That's just my opinion, though, and depending on what information you need to supply for later chapters may change that.

My only other comment is that the word "aye" coming from Vikashar sounds a bit weird, though that's rather nit-picky.

I hope you realize how much harder it is to write once you introduce mind-reading-though I have no doubt that you do. Just keep in mind the fate of whatever obscure planet that was in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where everyone could read minds and the only way they could stop themselves was to talk very loudly about the weather. Okay, I just wanted to slip a HHGttG reference in there, but really, take care.
K.A. Douglass chapter 15 . 9/13/2005
Demon as a racial slur, huh? Oo I'd never thought of it like that before. Interesting.

If it weren't for Vikashar's insane sex drive, not only would he probably feel no need for a vasectomy-he would also not be as oh-so-special as the boy is. *snerk* His fascination with blood and gore also adds to his specialness. :P

Was Kerdifplaron shocked because she thought Vikashar was mocking her, or just at that he had the gall to say what he did? Oo

"I have a tendency to do the same thing, except that when I do it, it's more interesting." God, Vikishar is such a little pain in the ass. XD

Told you this over AIM before, I think, but I do so love their bickering. Hee.

From the end of this chapter, it's clear that although Vikashar is generally not one to avoid a challenge, he does in fact know when to pick and choose his battles. Shows he isn't a complete ass. :P
K.A. Douglass chapter 14 . 9/13/2005
Heh... it's interesting how Vikashar takes pride in his sister, despite being jealous as hell of her. But that is, after all, a normal thing for siblings to feel.

...Vikashar's fixation on sex really can make him completely miss the point of whatever conversation he is in. XD; It's also quite ironic how he can hold it against people for supposedly holding themselves in higher regard than him in their minds, whilehe does the same thing. Sheesh.

*blink* I didn't expect the chapter to end so abruptly. oO But the way Kerdifplaron referred to Vikashar's thoughts, it made me wonder how long she had been reading his mind. Was it from the time he entered her room?
K.A. Douglass chapter 13 . 9/12/2005
(Oh yeah, forgot to say in my review for the last chapter, but I'm pretty sure I know who gave Thalazzy that wound of his. I wanna ask you and see if I'm right. P)

Vikashar comparing Alchemaestrius to cake is just so... wrong, in a horribly amusing sort of way. And like I said in my last review, Vikashar really needs a cold shower (or two hundred). XP

It's probably a bit mean of me, but I liked how Thalazzy constantly criticized Vikashar's sword skills (or lack thereof) in this chapter. This is probably because it reminded me a bit too much of my old kenpo instructor. ; Though I do like that by the end, Thalazzy had commented on what promise Vikashar's sparring showed. :D
K.A. Douglass chapter 12 . 9/12/2005
"No is a word you do not hear often enough." Very true-Vikashar is, after all, something of a spoiled brat. XP

When Vikashar said, "Can I touch the skin, then?", before I read the rest of that line, I was reminded of how some kids will see something gross and ask to touch it. XD;; Kids are crazy little buggers, and Vikashar is no exclusion to this. :P

"These blades are worthy of me, truly. Steel, when it shines in such a manner, is gorgeous.""Unless it plunges into your gut and gets covered in shit, I suppose."*snerk* Your dialogue never ceases to amaze/amuse me-especially in regard to the WTF?-factor. XD;;

Christ! When Vikashar wants sex with someone, he sure does get fired up if his attention-seeking is not successful. That boy could do with a few cold showers. XP

Vikashar trying to lift a sword bigger than his own height... definitely an amusing as hell mental image right there. *ded*

Thalazzy: Pick a lighter : I like this : Idiot. Pick a lighter : *sulks*Silly Vikashar, big swords are for big kids! ...And that totally sounded dirty just there. XD

"You're an interesting case study in psychology. I'm certain that you're the prototype of many serial killers. You would give headaches to a number of the pompous fucks in Urih-teliean." He gives enough of your readers headaches already, I'm sure. :P

"I am young, and happy, and so very willing to be yours-""-and everyone else's, it seems."VikasharHOR. :O

The last few paragraphs of this chapter amused me so. :P
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