Reviews for Rahzthalt
K.A. Douglass chapter 11 . 9/12/2005
I've said as much before, but Vikashar's randomness about bringing up his mother's cake amuses me endlessly. XD;; Silly rambling Vikashar.

I don't recognize Voahna's name, but Stijafas sounds familiar, as does the country Kiu... Have you told me of any of this previously? oO

"So. Did you fuck her?" Gee, Vikashar sure is blunt. XP

"You ask the right questions, boy, and it's rather strange, for someone who is not very perceptive.""I must be perceptive, if I ask the right questions.""You are not. You expect that no one sees what you do, nor what you think, nor what anyone around you says and does. You see only from your point of view, and your point of view is a limited one. You are, however, a lucky boy, and luck grants you the right questions, from time to time."Heh, I liked that exchange. Shows how Vikashar thinks so highly of himself, while others have no problem seeing how this is a great flaw in him. 'Tis part of what make Vikashar such an interesting characters.

Cliff-hanger? O noes! DUN DUN DUN. *shot*
Sept. Rose chapter 15 . 9/9/2005
Watch out there, V. Don't blow your chances to learn something over a silly argument. Will the war be referenced in the future? I have a feeling I'll need to remember it. Still good though.


Sept. Rose chapter 14 . 9/9/2005
Part two of training begins. I think the powers are pretty cool. Since you updated twice in such a short time, I'd better get started on the next part. Good job.

K.A. Douglass chapter 10 . 9/8/2005
"Stlive looked at him, fretting. "Aren't there?""-I like how her question not only conveys a sort of forboding, but also shows that even though she is a little girl she is very much aware of goings-on around her.

When Vikashar was thinking of how he "abhorred people who showed off their knowledge of technology," I definitely had a WTF moment. I guess his supposed lack of skill with devices stretches so far that he doesn't realize that it takes zero skill to use a text message function. oO;;

"I care not for such knowledge, sister. I care only for power."Some would say that knowledge is the key to power.""And I would say that you are being a smart-ass."That was a smirk-worthy exchange right there. :D

"It is a lonely road, I think. I have chosen that road. I have chosen to walk alone, and I am content with that choice." I'm going to assume that it is bad that Boulevard of Broken Dreams is now stuck in my head simply from reading that. :P

When Kerdifplaron was telling Vikashar about the stuff from the pat concerning Amck's monster and Wershiyatsmiz and Fihf, I thought it was cool that I sorta already know about that stuff from what you've told me before. 8D w00t
K.A. Douglass chapter 9 . 9/5/2005
"ample breasts that she had gotten from Alchemaestrius for free" ...What? XD; Also, am immensely amused at Vikashar wanting his sister's butt. Heh.

Vikashar was probably very lucky that his mother did not overhear his contemplation over getting a vasectomy. Oo;;

Love the interaction between Vikashar and his older sisters, particularly Nollika. The tone definitely catches both the querulous and affectionate aspects of have siblings. :3 Overall, I liked how this chapter presented the dynamics and interactions between Vikashar and his sisters.
Moose chapter 13 . 9/4/2005
Give how short this chapter is, I don't have a whole lot to say. My general comment is, however, that I hope you've done research on sword types and techniques. I couldn't tell if you had your facts straight, but a lot of others could. Though I'm sure you know what you're talking about.

The only other thing I was wondering about is why Vikashar is pinching his earlobes. I realize he's thinking about earrings, but would he do it in front of someone he likes?
K.A. Douglass chapter 8 . 9/3/2005
When Thalazzy told Vikashar that he thought Fasia to be "a little insane," I couldn't help but snicker a bit at that. It was true, but a definite understatement. :P

I like Thalazzy. He seems astute, and like a respectable enough guy; he doesn't have any qualms with stating his mind on what he thinks is inappropriate behavior (particularly on Snooks' part in this chapter). I also liked that line of his, "I'll not be the eyes of the blind."

"Vikashar was wearing sneakers beneath his robe, which he thought looked absolutely idiotic, but his mother had insisted that he not wear sandals, since it was late in winter and much of the funeral was to be held outside. Vikashar hated to dress like a bum, though."-Heh, I can relate, though it's generally my own fault when I wear sneakers with something I really shouldn't. XD;

Yay, Stlive's in this chapter! :D He, she's so cute.
K.A. Douglass chapter 7 . 9/1/2005
"He grabbed a hairbrush from the counter and worked to sort out his tangles. His hair stubbornly resisted the brush. When that did not work, it engulfed it and attempted to make the brush a part of itself." I feel kind of bad for being amused by the mental image I just got from that. XD;;

"Feeling far more relaxed, he slipped a tube of black lipstick out and applied a coat to his lips." That's his sister's lipstick from earlier, right? I was kind of surprised that I remembered that. :D Yay.

I'm just curious, but approximately how many residences are there in Shnoll Alnai-ta? How many people live in each building, aside from those mentioned in this chapter?

...Treiyon Darkall is oh so special. XD I think he's awesome, in a crazy sorta way. "You know, in my Era, we had no sunlight, nor noise, nor fixed shapes, and we did not bother with this gender business, either." He sounds like one of those old men who are always reminiscing about the "good ol' days." *snerk*

I feel bad for Vikashar, what with his father hardly ever being around. ( Poor boy. I liked Darkall's line there, though: "Far? Oh, but my boy, I am never far from you." It was very touching. I like how he's trying to be a good father to Vikashar; if he had fought Vikashar's battle, it would hve saved the boy from that once instance, but Darkall knew that he couldn't let Vikashar expect him to always shield him from dangers. That whole "tough love" thing, man.

I liked the last bit of their conversation, especially where Darkall said: "Your words are your shield and sword"-Darkall's ability to console Vikashar, despite his lacking for things such as compassion, show how much he cares about his son.
K.A. Douglass chapter 6 . 8/31/2005
o_o Woahjesus. Alchemaetrius' attack on Vikashar was a bit... graphic. xX;; Yikes.

"It always took every vestige of strength that Vikashar had in him to pry apart those doors, but they were not strong nor firm enough to keep the world out and away from him, and now Snooks was pulling them apart with ease."-I liked that part. :D

This chapter had a lot of intense emotions to it... Alchemaetrius is a bit, er, unhinged, though. oO;;

Shall hopefully read the next chapter soon. :P
Todd chapter 13 . 8/30/2005
Given that you prefer character comments from me, and this chapter had a sizeable chunk of swordplay technical information, I apologize in advance if this is shorter than my average. You do seem to know your stuff, though, regarding whatever system of information you choose to insert in your story. I believe everything said in the chapter was true, and for anything I didn't know beforehand, you(or Thalazzy) explained in a way that tied it in with the rest, and made perfect sense.

Once again, Vikashar is just a complex emotional box of checks and balances. When he cares about someone, he may be a little defensive of them, but when he wants to seduce someone, he tends to treat them like the most fragile, valuable resource on Ansana. It really is sweet that he didn't want to hurt Thalazzy, and I cannot say I blame him for being a little hesitant, but I think he also underestimated Thalazzy quite a bit. Vikashar is still an amateur to life and impulsive, so he often over or underestimates things, I suppose. Soon enough, through experience like in this chapter, his evaluations will sharpen. In any case, I cannot condemn nor condone his underestimation of Thalazzy. Vikashar is much more capable than he apears to be, and so he hates to be underestimated. Yet he was really just trying to be very good to Thalazzy, and so in between those two things lies my neutrality on the issue.

And Vikashar is so gaurded. He is so unsure of himself in so many ways, lacks so much confidence about some things, that he must mask certain areas of himself when around people, both physically and emotionally. He puts on prosthetics, so that he may appear to be as 'normal' as anyone else, and so that the 'unattractive' and embarassing are hidden beneath, or at least blended in with the prosthetics. The measures he undertakes, just so he can feel comfortable doing something so simple as walking among is gaurded, apparently due to being burned in love. Among other reasons, Vikashar also does not trust the good nature of people. So I guess if they feel drawn to one another on an emotional level, sometime in the future, it would make sense for both of them.

Vikashar appears to be breaking through cracks in Thalazzy's armor, but that may not be true. He came to life a moderate amount during their sparring and verbal exchanges. But...he could still be as closed off as ever, and only lit up because of their activity, not the exchange. He's lived in the Wild Lands, after all, and adrenaline is adrenaline, no matter who you are. Well, I suppose Vikashar's sharp ability to learn would be partially responsible, as anything less would have bored Thalazzy, and no adrenaline is produced from boredom.

My, but Thalazzy is definitely not shy about his opinions, even if it's directed at the son of the woman who houses him.I don't know if I agree with everything he said about Vikashar, but alot of it held some truth, in my opinion. I don't think Vikashar's ploys would work in the real world with anyone, but Thalazzy is certainly much more apt at playing intention detective than most, I think. I wonder if Vikashar has ever been shut down so systematically before...? He seemed shocked at some points, so I doubt it.

Well, next up is spell casting with Kerdifplaron, right? She's a patient, mature woman(MOSTLY), so hopefully Vikashar can still get his lesson despite his tardiness
Sept. Rose chapter 13 . 8/30/2005
Did a good job describing the sword lessons. I liked the end, where Thalazzy was showing V how to use the katana. So now he's going to see his sister? This has been a very long day indeed.

K.A. Douglass chapter 5 . 8/29/2005
Is Kit-ti-yal-tries a sentient plant? That's cool. :D

Snooks is funny. Makes me think of other people I know who will walk in on you like you were already talking about something. XD;; Vikashar correcting his words from "asshole" to "ruffian" also amused me.

"Vikashar, you focus more on the details than the whole picture... An attitude like yours doesn't make exceptions or understand human failures." I think that bit of dialogue effectively sums up a part of Vikashar's character that I didn't quite get before. I also very much liked Vikashar's response to that.

"Do watch your words, Snooks. You are slurring a number of them. I shan't respect anything you say lest you use your best grammar and pronunciation"-that made me laugh quite a bit. XD

onoes, they kidnapped Vikashar! :O I wonder what Alchemaestrius' lens-thingy is...
Moose chapter 12 . 8/29/2005
I have to say I'm pleased at how honest you were in Vikashar's desire to have hot steamy fantasy sex with Thalazzy. It was refreshing. And that sounded creepy.

The only breach in Thalazzy's character I thought there was came when he was explaining the spell on his hand. He seems like a man of simpler words-not neccessarily in limited vocabulary but in stating things plainly.

My only other comment is in regards to the ending, which seems a bit cut off. Your endings are usually extremely well-placed, but this one made me wonder why there wasn't more after it.
Todd chapter 12 . 8/27/2005
Did anyone think they'd seen the full extent of Vikashar's libido and his connection with it, previously? If so, I'm certain that reading the first two parts of this chapter have been responsible for some new mental notes.

Though again, I must point out my surprise that Vikashar doesn't see that some comments are obviously BAD when flirting with someone. 'Rather thoroughly mangled' will NOT get Thalazzy into bed with you. He's not that sensitive about the hand, but I imagine such a comment would put off anyone with a pulse. Heck, I bet it'd even rub Oazno Amck wrongly, and he is without pulse. Eh, despite Vikashar's intelligence, he *is* thirteen, and has never been in a relationship before. At least not one he willingly or knowingly participated in, or initiated himself. We all go through a learning process.

I am rather impressed with him in this endeavor, somewhat. He has shown himself to be...not as shallow as he could be. His thoughts and comments have referenced his being attracted to Thalazzy's personality *far* more than any of his physical traits, even before the revelation of ~THE HAND~. Some people in our world have run from a good thing, once they're gotten to know someone, and then seen a deformity, or some embarassing physical trait. As odd as it is for me to say this, but Vikashar sort of has a virtue in common with Esmerelda, of 'Hunchback' fame. I never thought I'd ever think of virtuous similarities betwixt Vikashar and a Disney female protagonist.

Vikashar went for the BIGGEST sword, the MAN'S SWORD. That sword should be wielding Vikashar, rather than vice versa. Vikashar would make a good hand held weapon, methinks. Those long, sharp nails, the poisonous blood, the ascerbic tongue. Much like a Swiss Army Knife, eh?

Thalazzy is either not as cold as I thought he was, or Vikashar is special enough that he's making cracks in Thalazzy's shell. He seems to be taking a liking to the boy. I don't know if he likes him *that* way at the moment. That's actually one of the cooler things about third person limited, as opposed to omniscient voice, I now realize. Instead of knowing how everyone in the scene feels, when they are not so lucky, we only see limited thoughts from just one person, and are left wondering what another character thinks about this or not, or if our 'hero' is making a good impression or not. Similar to the thrill of poker.

Well, Thalazzy is being hospitable and putting up with MORE than he should really have to endure, so kudos to him.
Sept. Rose chapter 12 . 8/27/2005
Not too much to comment on this chapter, other than the fact that I was right about the hand. Now, onto V's training? Hopefully?

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