Reviews for destroy me
fwaahh chapter 1 . 5/1/2006
This is very beautiful, I must say. Your choice of words and the way you put them together is very well done.

I don't think that you shouldn't listen to people who say that this style - the one without capitals and all - looks like you don't care. I've experamented with my writing styles and tried this one before and as anyone would know, it is actually more difficult. I don't know if you use Word or anything, but I know that I do and it automatically capitalizes "I"s and things after end punctuation marks (e.g. exclaimation marks, question marks and the like). I am constantly going back and un-capitalizing things and whatnot. So I really think this style shows more effort.

The ragged style actually adds something to the piece itself. It adds a sense of chaos to it, something hapahazard and wanting.

All in all, I love it!
realityescapesher chapter 1 . 12/2/2005
it left me rather breathless to read also. you write beautifully.-aly
Gilee7 chapter 1 . 10/12/2005
-and making me crazy with affection for yourinsaneperfection- This writing style annoys me so greatly because I never know when a mistake is really a mistake or when it's done on purpose. I'm guessing this was a loading error, though.

- for i've been sleeping in this unbeautiful limbo for far away too long- Putting "far away" there doesn't make the sentence any cooler or emotional or creative. It just makes it awkward.

-somewould lable it tragedyhow your perfection cuts through me- Loading errors, I'm guessing?

-to be some kind of magical miracle man in my digital wor(l)ds.- Really clever and creative. I like it. Especially the use of parenthesis to make two words out of one. I first saw that in Stephen King's writing. I've borrowed it a few times in my stories, although it's rare for me to do so. I've always like it, though. I think the play on words like that is really cool.

-its everso creepy- Another loading error?

-what colour your eyelashes are and where you left your biro- I have no freaking clue with a "biro" is.

I wasn't enjoying this too much toward the beginning. As soon as I saw it was in this same "I don't care" style, I sighed and almost hit the back button. But no, I continued on. I started to get into toward the middle. Paragraphs 3, 4, and 5 are by far the strongest featuring some great imagery and powerful emotions that really showed through. I do like the ending of this, as well. Especially that last line. It's kinda like the sock line from the last one I read. It's the one humorous line in a sea of angsty emotions.

This style is so lazy, though. I hate it. It doesn't look good on you, in my opinion. It's like you don't care. So why should I care as a reader? Why should I bother to read your piece? The lack of grammar really disrupts the story. I was hoping it was like only a one time thing the last time I saw it. I'm disappointed to see I was wrong.

But, despite all that, your talent still shines through. You have a knack for very unique figurative language and some great imagery. So yeah ...
poet tree chapter 1 . 8/31/2005
Wonderful. This is so beautiful. Good job.
Katterree Fengari chapter 1 . 8/29/2005
wow, there's a lot of feeling in that. And I really like the ending...

K, to start off, it was sort of messing with me how it's poetry, but it's put into paragraphs like prose and I don't know if that's meant. Like, when some of the words stick together, I'm not sure if you wanted it to be one word or if that's wear you have it go to the next line, were it in lines. Like "yourinsaneperfection" in the first paragraph, and "somewould" at the start of the second.

I like the phrase "unbeautiful limbo". This is so jammed pack with metaphors, I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I like the details in the fourth paragraph/stanza, how the speaker knows so much about him and he so little of her.

Last line of the third paragraph/stanza, t looks like you had a line where you wanted two words at the same time, or atleast I'm guessing, because I've done that before, - with the "in my digital wor(l)ds.", might I suggest you use repetition and say 'in my digital worlds/in my digital words', though that does change the flow a bit..

In the...6th paragraph/stanza I do like that question posed there, along with the "redecorated me hopeful." phrase, but the reference to a boyfreind from before is so short. Either cut it or explain a little, I'd poem overall.
the naked civil servant chapter 1 . 8/10/2005
oh god this is beautiful beautiful beautiful and i relate almost completely. favourites...
Elizabeth Ebony chapter 1 . 8/9/2005
. .scuse the full poem rocked.

.
fragglerock chapter 1 . 7/8/2005
Insane. I love it.
faike tearz chapter 1 . 6/30/2005
i relli like how theres so much emotion and anger, yet so much love as well. i guess everyone experiences this eventually but its fantastic that u can make it so real with ur words.
translucence chapter 1 . 6/27/2005
lyrical and painful and melt-in-your-mouth smooth...

reading it left me quite breathless, too.
Rara Punk chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
Very intense prose. Wow, I'm just blown away by it. The only thing I found distracting was the 'ive' instead of I've and all the other typos...it just got to me a wee bit thats all. But the content - brilliant.

-Write on!
kit feral chapter 1 . 6/19/2005
"But i saw the way your glitter dust is falling off." Amazing line. Actually, overall, this was amazing. I was captivated. Your imagery was beautiful- the pink nails and the unicorn dying and the spider web, for example. I think my favorite was the spider web. Simply beautiful. Also, the format was really cool. It really helped to make this great- not that it needed help. The ending was perfect, by the way. Very, very good work- I could read this over and over. Keep writing!
peaceman4ever chapter 1 . 6/17/2005
Bravo...it was intense but i love it all...
pleasecometrue chapter 1 . 6/15/2005
you are delicious!
Munchin chapter 1 . 6/15/2005
Wow this is an amazing stream of consciousness. Really , amazing. Wow. Well done.. saw a typo though "for far away too long" you did mean "for far way to long" or "far to long" ? Whatever. I really like this piece. I hope you find the pill.
21 | Page 1 2 Next »