| Reviews for HIdden hearts |
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   nimzies chapter 3 . 12/10/2010 Good idea for a story. Would be great if you just edited it a bit more. I do have a few criticisms: 1) grammar. Beta readers are an awesome idea. If not try rereading a few times watching for grammar and spelling mistakes. 2) There seems to be absolutely no character development. I can't really sympathize, or even like any of the characters because I don't know them. Try to get in more about their characters and personalities as the story progresses. 3) It seems to switch from present to passive tense. For example if it says "They walk away" then at no other time in later the story should it say "they walked away." This is just the example I can think off, it isn't the exact one that is in your story. So yea just try fixing those mistakes, specifically the one about the character development because it makes it a much better read. Good Luck |
| hanz15 chapter 11 . 12/22/2008 Hey!..i love the story..i hope you would continue updating this because if not this would be a waste..tanx!..update soon hah.. |
| urjellingcauseimevil chapter 11 . 5/8/2007 damn it! gab complicate things...please dont make him too charming or funny cause i dont want him to replace Shawn in my heart. lurve kira |
| monka chapter 1 . 8/15/2006 bitch! update! |
| HaveHeart chapter 11 . 8/11/2006 I am so excited to read more..i bet shawn is pissed..i don't like gab..and the only reason i don't like him is because i want khara with shawn.. soon please |
| Ravenrose66 chapter 1 . 6/1/2006 I just wanted to let you know that I love this story, hopefully you will update is soon. I can't help but check and see if you have added more chapters on a daily basis |
| iamthebomb chapter 1 . 5/20/2006 please improve ur grammer! beta readers are great! but overall awesome fic! |
| Monika chapter 11 . 5/13/2006 Well it's about god-damned time you updated, lazy ass! And work on your grammer; IT SUCKS! tee-hee... well I loved the ending of the chapter. Most definitely a cliff hanger D And make sure you update soon and make the thing longer. This one was kinda short, fo sho |
| EatmyHeartwithaSpoon chapter 11 . 4/30/2006 Yeah! You updated!Getting very interesting,hmm... potential love triangle... I want more!Update! |
| Sara Kay chapter 11 . 4/29/2006 You better update soon, woman! D I'm just so in love with this story, and can't wait to see where you take it. Keep up the awesome work! *Sara Kay |
| FSlSlayer chapter 11 . 4/28/2006 havent written in so long. :(Love ur chapter.. :PWrite faster. XD |
| Your Passion chapter 11 . 4/27/2006 Awe no! I want her to get with Shawn! I don't like his cousin! Lol, anyway great as alwaysa nd update soon! xoxo |
| Elidhu chapter 11 . 4/27/2006 Tha was a long kiss a eally long kiss. lol. Loved it so keep writing XBethX |
| let me scream my heart out chapter 11 . 4/27/2006 thank you for updating kwl chapter lol cya |
| Angel302 chapter 11 . 4/27/2006 hey, love the story, can't wait to read more. LoveAngel |