Aw! this was such a great first chapter! You wrote the dialogue really well, effectively capturing the diciton of a five year old. My favorite line was definitely,

"“Elliot where are you going?” her father called after her.

“To ask mama If I can keep him” she said smiling at him. Her father sighed."

AW! SO CUTE

Yay.

Took a while: yes. Not so long as it has before though, so I was basically good.

THANK YOU!

Until we meet again,

(Sorry...constructive cristicism is not my forte while tired)

Adios.

I like this story ALOT but the cussing and th way you use the Lord's name in vain is kind of a turn off. Sorry just keepimg it real.

Wow. Dude, that kissing scene was hot. That's the only way to describe that. And I must agree with Sasha, I would so hit that (adrian) if he was real! Hahaha. Great chapter, seriously. The whole kissing scene was very believble, especially the mixed emotions of Elliot. :]

I thought this was a really good/hilarious chapter.

The only thing I don't like is that you repeat the same

things when you switch over to different points of views.

But I guess that they're necessary because they're needed

to link the points of anyway I really liked it.

Please,Please,and Please keep .

Wow, how weird. I'm watching 13 Going on 30 while I'm reading your story, and as soon as I was finished reading with this chapter, Jesse's Girl played in the movie. Kinda creepy if you think about; ok, not really, but whatever.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I really like this story so far and I'm now going to finish reading the other chapters.

You added to it from Megs! That was awesome.

Finals are over for you? Lucky.

I posted it on the MCBC but it got deleted thorugh the whole new-new process so I want to post it here. That way you get more reviews. (tee-hee)

I like the light kiss at the scene, and its good its not slobbed with gushy details since it would be weird to see that in Adrian's POV. Ellie's POV...that will...be interesting. Of course we love Ellie; we just get a little fustrated with her. Her POV was a little confusing at first (probbly just because when I read it, it was midnight and my eyes were going biserk) but overall, I think you did a good job with her feelings. And I like how you filled us in briefly about the weekend during Ellie's and Adrian's convo, as you said.

The "habit" was a good excuse but bad consequences.

hey i love love love this story! One thing that i really admire about this piece is the fact that you're taking it slowly, and really showing the different aspects of their relationship so we can get a true feeling of where their feelings are coming from. Most stories on here simply are like "they're friends and then *BOOM* they make-out... THE END" This is truly like a book and is one of my very favorite stories on here, so update soon and don't keep us waiting because I have a feeling Adrian is in for one interesting conversation while he tries to explain himself!

Luvs it to the extreme. update soon pls and thank

Love your story but why have you got it in the romance catagory if it is not one? even the summary is way more suggestive than anything that has happened thus far, come on please IT IS CHAPTER 25

love ya

Sally

first, id like to say that this whole story is pretty awesome. and i should know cuz ive spent the last two days reading all 25 chapters. but it was so totally worth it, and i cant wait til the next chapter.

oh, and you live in canada, right? took me a while, but i figured as much after you mentioined alberta. i live in the US, but its all good.

again, great job. cant wait.

EEK! Loved it.

Haha, that was a really cute/funny chapter. I love where this is going! I'm so excited for the next chapter...Adrian in for one interesting conversation hehe. But i hope Elliot doesn't completely bite his head off...they need to make up eventually. I really hope they both realize they like eachother and move on soon lol! Can't wait for the next chap.! Happy Holidays!

Aw- so, so adorably cute! Yay, they are finally getting together...