Reviews for Writing with Diversity
theysayshannon chapter 8 . 12/20/2005
Very nicely put. You're a great writer I guess by your usefull tips, eh? )

I especially think Step 2 is very useful and makes the writing much better. Although I am quite lazy and to go through and edit all my sentances after 80-some pages... Haha, wow. It'd be a miracle for me P But it was very nicely put!

'...the writer had never seen him before. Because she was so much shorter then he was, the giant man had to incline his head to be able to meet the elf’s eyes before he began to speak. Shocked by his words as he began, the homeowner listened intently.'

I don't know if I missed something or not, but did you mention that she was a writer? Or was that just implyed..? And we didn't mention she was an elf either, although that one is pretty obvious if you pay attention to who's reacting to who. Just letting you know P Everything else is pretty much stating the obvious... Dunno, just thought I'd point that out!

Step four- This is something important that you described well. However, it's a very important subject because it makes stories so much better. So even though you wrote a lot about it, I still think you just barley glazed over it. . . Writing can be confusing.. Haha x.x English is like, the hardest language. P

Step 6- Ick. I hate proof reading. I love reading over my stories because it reminds me of what I forgot (therefor helping me with things to add that I didn't remember I needed to) and just enjoyment reading my own writing, but I don't enjoy Proof Reading. I end up realizing I could do things to my my writing so much better and I'm so lazy that I end up going, "Ugh, that's like, a billion pages I have to fix!" O

Grammar- Yikes. That's not my strong point. Actually, this year using Fiction Press and just writing in general I've learned a lot which is funny because you see my progress. I started my one story on here last year and I was horrible. Especially with Commas. I added commas everywhere I would pause.. Which I shouldn't have. So you notice all my horrible mistakes at the beginning, and then it slowly gets gradually better as you go on. It's pretty funny. Haha.

Overall this is a very helpful tutorial and I congratulate you on being so good with writing ) *pats on back* If you want, go ahead and stop by my story, Carina and the Fairy Crystals, to R&R. Thanks!

Once again, Nice job and Good luck!
MageDay chapter 8 . 12/8/2005
Simple, yet very useful. Definately themes every author should develop for better story writing. Thank you.
Yuval chapter 8 . 11/12/2005
Hello!

Sorry I'm not reviewing Perihelion - I don't have much time at the moment and am only three chapters in. As soon as I'm done, I'll review that too.

I couldn't believe it when I got a review from you! I don't think you've read the rest of the feedback on the story you reviewed, but for Chapter... Six, I think it was, I was pointed to your Writing With Diversity for help with my sentence openers. So, after chapter seven, the openers improve a bit. XD Anyway, I just thought it was a funky coincidence.

This is such a useful collection of essays. They've definitely helped me in more ways than one, sentence openers and all. You're a genius. XD

So, I thought I'd come and return the favour for your reviews - I'll read through your other stuff sometime soon.

Thankyou so much for the review, and thankyou for this great resource. I hope everybody who can takes heed of it. XD
Alankria chapter 3 . 11/7/2005
Hey. Thanks for pointing me to this chapter, it was very informative. When I do final edits to the story, I'll remember to change some of the openers. One thing to remember though - it can be overdone - I thought your 'improved' paragraph sounded too choppy because, to drop the pronoun openers, you turned one clause into two; flow is important too. Also - I was taught that you're not technically meant to open sentences with because, but of course sometimes it's necessary.

Nonetheless, you make a good point, that variation is *always* a good thing. Thank you.
ronshaberry chapter 3 . 10/10/2005
Thank you so much for enlightening me. I've been struggling to improve that one-shot, and here it was. I'm so grateful for your advice. _x
nothingyouneedtoknow chapter 5 . 10/9/2005
I've also been taught that, unless it's absolutely necessary for the scene, 'said' is the best word to use.
nightdragon0 chapter 8 . 10/9/2005
I feel it's a well written guide, from the format to your presentation.

It'll give a newer writer some tips, and even for more experienced ones, a few more things to think about.
DragonicHeaven chapter 8 . 10/9/2005
I'd like to thank you for writing this little guide to writing. A lot of the points and facts in here are very valid and they will help me to improve my writing a lot.
miramee chapter 7 . 10/2/2005
I must dissent. On the internet, the shorter a paragraph is, the better imo. 2-3 paragraphs is the best idea. (or less. I have also written stories on which had spaces b/w individual lines. And once I got over the initial weirdness of this, it was a positive boon)

(to bear reading fictionpress, I have to enlarge the font about 5x, otherwise it'd be too painful to read)

I like yr advice on spelling/commonly confused words. when I see an it's/its confusion glaring off the page at me(and admittedly I do this myself sometimes), it annoys me. a lot.
miramee chapter 6 . 10/2/2005
Oh yes. Good old Word thesaurus, which i have used countless times in english essays (in an attempt to make myself sound smarter. sigh. it didn't work.)
miramee chapter 4 . 10/2/2005
" If your paragraphs are on the short side, or even if they’re not but you’re trying to achieve more multiplicity in your writing, try to aim for using different names a lot."

Let me just remark here, as an addendum, that such names (nouns, whatever) can be overused.

This excess is known as the Burly Detective Sydrome which can be found within the fabulous Turkey City Lexicon: .
miramee chapter 1 . 10/2/2005
heh. I've just discovered this informative guide (after reviewing one of your stories), and truth be confessed, I feel a little silly, santimoniously dispensing advice to you in my review. Esp when reading this trove of wisdom.

(But I suppose an independent reader can discern more than the actual author of the work when reading a story; that's my feeble justification, at least.)
Pheobe Meryll chapter 8 . 9/18/2005
Aw! Nice way to end. Good guide, kudos on reminding all of us to edit (I'll put up a post-it somewhere). Thanx & good job!
Pheobe Meryll chapter 7 . 9/18/2005
Ah! The beauty of grammar.

I hope many people will read the part about "its" and "it's." Such a little, annoying yet common mistake!

Good chapter to include, although I trust all who read it own a grammar book they study every night...mwahaha.

Seriously, a well-written chapter. And I like the mention in the last paragragh about how reviewers will review a grammatically correct story. Good point.

Note: Your "authors note" should be "author's note." *_*
Pheobe Meryll chapter 6 . 9/18/2005
Ah yes! The thesaurus...a writer's best friend.

I like that you included that warning about knowing the roots of the word. I would add too to beware of words even that aren't culterally related...I mean, sometimes you'll be reading a very simply-written story, and a big huge word will pop out at you that screams either "Vocab homework" or "thesaurus." Just thought I'd add that...
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