Hm, Okay..lets see here...

A: I think that your word choice was a bit simplistic, and it was quite cliche.

B: I think it has potensial if you sorta polished it up a bit

Aw... Sadness. Love can be painful.

Another great poem. I love the closing.

Another thing I really like about it is you can see the innocence in the beginning of the poem, and you can slowly see the innocence start to slip away by the end. I don't know if that was any of your intention, but I think it definitely makes the poem more powerful.

Can't wait to read more.

oh very beautifully written. thank you for sharing.