|Reviews for The Cavern of Broken Dreams|
| Cemetary Gates chapter 1 . 6/18/2005
This poem would have more punch if it were much more focused on the comparing this experience of a breakup to that of a lone, dirty, damb, cold, unknown cavern. It wanders away from this comparision and becomes slightly abstract, taking away from what it could be.
Here's a few suggestions:
"And its like I can't function without you guiding me."
From this line, you could possibly add another line or two about how this relationship was a light/guide in the dark cavern - e.g. "The light from your eyes shone like a guide in the dark recesses"
| miss me4h chapter 1 . 6/18/2005
its very sad