What can I say, I like the descriptions. But try not to limit yourself to versed poetry. Free verse will enhance your creativity. Good luck with writing.

i really like the metaphors you present in this. the only thing that concerns me is that you might be restricting yourself too much by trying to rhyme every line. maybe you should try some free form sometime and just see how it works for you- not that rhyming is a bad thing, but it can tend to be very restrictive of your words. thanks for your review, by the way.

THANKS so very much for reviewing my story! I really appreciate it!..It is my first time writing a story like that. I really appreciate it. Now to ur poem.

I LOVE it! I love the last line! Just everything. It definetely has "that feel" that a gr8 poem has. DEf. enjoyed it.

very good poem, sounds a lot like what i do... yea, anyways, good work

OMG that was really good. Lol. ) I loved it! You write really good poems!-Rayne