This is a good start. The only bit of CC i have is it is somewhat difficult to tell who is speaking at the begging of the chapter, other than that great job

Hey, thanks for reviewing my story. I thought I'd return the favor. I really love all the stuff you've come up with for Arkon. I especially like the style of your chapter openings; it reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. They open the chapter in a funny way while telling you more about Arkon, which is great writing. One question though: Isn't mithril something from LOTR? I might be wrong (I haven't read it in a while), but anyway, it sounds familiar to me. Sorry if I'm wrong.

Hey, cool story. I like it very much. Can't wait to find out who the wolf is! Is it possible she could be that woman who vanquished Duffikus? Hmm, I like werewolves...

Heh the first part of this chapter didn't seem like it fit at all with a serious story. Not to make fun but it was oddly funny, almost too much so that it lacked seriousness. I myself enjoyed it.

Alright. My biggest CC here is that you don't use different sentence openers. Especially, you start off a lot of your paragraphs with 'the one' or a variation on that.

If you want a more detailed explanation of what I mean by this, then I highly recommend you look here: . ?storyid1942775&chapter3