So far so good, I am enjoying this immensly. Of course I can't spell but that is what spell checker be for yo! :)

I am gonna read your other story the follow up of this one after I finish this, and I should be done tomorrow! HUZZAH!

So far so good. Just found this by sheer luck, and I am enjoying it very much. However, the amount of references to earth, while funny, detract from any seriousness.

Course, you may not be trying to be serious, so there ya go! :)

Once again, awesome chapter! It is really very obvious you've put a lot of thought into developing your World! Sorry if I said that before, I probably did, but it's true!Good descriptions and dialogue, funny bit with Garadan near the end there.

Mithril, eh? Borrowing the term from Tolkien? I see you use it differently, but still, when naming things in your world, I would try to put together a word that isn't so well known from another story...but do what you think best, its your story! NEway, looks great so far, I'll try to get back here again soon~SCR

Interesting first chapter though the name L'ZUL isn't excatly one that I can say with confidence...

(Anyway I thought I'd start on a good note about your review)...I just wanted to thank you for the review of my story, and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if you thought the spelling and grammar was a little 'off'...not to mention whatever you thought of the story line (not like it's in full swing yet), but bearing in mind I am working on like four stories and this one...give me a break. I appreciate the review being so truthful and all but what I DIDN'T appreciate was the fact that you said that since I'm from the UK you would expect my english to be better...? Just sounds like a load of bullshit to me. Er, Maybe I just can't be bothered to check mistakes sometimes...it's not like every chapter was flawed. Was it? And I did write most of this story like two years ago on paper...and copying from paper does have it's disadvantages...

But anyway whatever...Good luck to you and your writings!

From Tasha West (the english girl, that seemingly can't write for shit!)

Well now, this looks for the review..uh.. lord Duffikus. Hope to hear from your creator(?) soon! Much love, Lossefalmiel

I love the fact that that piece of Elemental Fire is still around. All in all, I think your characters are developing marvelously. I'm enjoying the character of D'raneor more and more, although Gimli is still my favorite.

I skipped reviewing last chapter because I didn't really have anything to add. It was a good one. I would have skiped this one, except that in the beginning, you mentioned having (only) 39 reviews. It's cool how nine chapters later, you have almost 100 more than that. Where did you find that test, anyway?... Hoping to get through Pathways today, at long last.

Very nice chapter. You were not mistaken when you said you were doing pretty well with this. As I saw the plot thickening in this chapter, I realized that 'thickening' was exactly what was happening. It wasn't just BAM, there's a plot, and man is it heavy. We built up to it, almost without realizing that it was happening, and that's very cool. Catch ya later.

Good one! Joke and chapter ;) Things are getting increasingly intense. As always, looking forward to the next bit.

I only have time enough to review "Beginning." I was really inrtigued but the interaction between L'zul and Garradan. Though short, I fell into the scene, and hope to read more later tonight.

The only thing I found worth editing was a spelling error in the last paragraph - "feel" instead of "fell."

Good work.- Every Thought

More wording mistakes that a lot of writers seem to miss by mistake a lot.

NOTE: When I use 'word word...word word it indicates a break, because I don't feel like typing a part because it's fine as it is. Also note that you periodically misspell the word 'traveller', when there is only one 'l'. -

The white wolf paced about in the small cage they’d confined her in. The confines of the stout steel bars irritated her to no ends, and she’d tried snapping at them, only to be rewarded with a chipped tooth.

(Double-usage of the word 'confine. Possible rewording to 'The snow-white wolf paced about the small cage that served as her prison. The confines of the stout steel bars irritated her to no end, and she'd tried snapping at her captors, only to rewarded with a chipped tooth.')

The man approached the cage gingerly, as if it would dematerialise any moment and the beast within would lunge at him. The white wolf could smell the rivulets of fear oozing from the man’s pores, the very blood flowing through his veins…

(The man approached the cage cautiously, as if it would dematerialize any moment and the beast inside would lunge at him. The wolf could smell the rivulets of sweat and dear oozing from the man's pores, along with the very blood throwing through his veins...)

She constrained herself and idyllically scratched herself with a hind foot as the man opened a tiny flap in the side of the cage and pushed the bowl in. As he withdrew his hand, she lunged at it, nearly managing to take off the man’s fingertips. The man gave her a nervous glance and hurriedly left.

(She constrained herself...the man opened a tiny flap on the side of the cage and shoved the bowl towards the almost starved wolf. As he drew his hand back, she lunged at it and nearly managed to take off his fingertips. The obese man gave her a nervous glance and hurriedly left.)

Eyeing the contents of the bowl, the only bit the white wolf recognized amidst the glistening, fatty blobs was an eyeball of some sort. One half of her suddenly didn’t feel so hungry, while the other half drooled ravenously and begged to be let at the bowl’s contents. Giving in, the white wolf dug in, as voices drifted in from outside.

(Eyeing the contents...fatty blobs, was an eyeball of some sort. One half of her suddenly didn't feel so hungry, while the other half drooled ravenously, begging to be let at the meal(Note: you've used contents once already in this paragraph, hence the rewording). Giving in to temptation, the white wolf dug in, voices from outside drifting towards where she feasted.)

“…ungrateful bitch. Don’t see why we even keep her.” The fat man.

("...ungrateful bitch...even keep her," the fat man said.)

“You fool, she’ll fetch a good price at the next big city we come across. At the very least, her hide will. How often is it that you see a white wolf? Some noble will want her got a cloak or something.” A woman. His wife? A relative? Mistress? It mattered not to the wolf.

("You fool...How often is it that you see a white wolf nowadays? One noble or another is bound to purchase it for a cloak or something." A woman...It didn't matter to the wolf.)

Gryphons sundered unwary travellers or all races across the world.

(Gryphons sundered unprepared travelers of all races across the world.)

Garnish the remaining ten percent with all sorts of strange humanoids who wear loose-fitting, concealing clothing about their person.

(Garnish the remaining ten percent with lal sorts of strange humanoids that wear loose-fitting clothing that concealed them from the public eye.)

None of those interested L’zul, though. He had his mind on more pressing matters.

(None of this interested L'zul though, for he had more pressing matters on his mind.)

“At least I find the inns with the best beds for our coin.” Garradan grinned. “You’ll track me down as usual, I presume?”

(You have used the word 'he grinned' several times in this chapter. Reconsider or reword.)

Garradan was a good friend, despite his weaknesses, and L’zul appreciated such a comrade.

(The comma between friend and despite isn't necessary and makes an awkward pause.)

Presently, an odd sound drifted by from one of the alleyways, and Garradan flattened himself against a wall, hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw.

(WAY too many commas.

Presently, an odd sound drifted from one of the alleyways. Garradan flattened himself against a wall, hand on the hilt of his sword.

The ready to draw is unnecessary, for it's pretty obvious it's what's going to happen. Another thing about editing your story is trimming off unnecessary pieces of information.)

More children of all shapes and sizes poured out from the adjoining houses to fill the alley, until it was jam-packed with little bodies.

(Unnecessary comma. Reword to:

More children of all shapes and sizes poured out from the adjoining houses until the alley with jam-packed with little bodies.)

The peoples she ruled over were happy and well-fed, and they wanted for almost nothing.

(Take out 'for'. 'and they wanted almost nothing.')

The hills of her empire were golden with wheat, and the vineyards bursting.

(Use of empire several times throughout this paragraph. Turn to 'hills of the ripe lands', possibly.)

And the older she grew, the more terrified she grew of dying.

(Beginning sentences with words like 'and' isn't that good. Just turn it to 'The older she grew, the more terrified she grew of her inevitable death.')

The very land became cursed, and turn into what we know today as the Scorched Lands far to the south, where nothing will grow, and no animals live, only remnants of Duffikus’ horrifying legion.

(The very land became cursed and turned into what we know today as the Scorched Lands that lay far to the south. There, nothing will grow and no animals can live except the remnants of Duffikus' horrible legion.)

Deep within the vaults of her castle lay the spoils of war she had accumulated, amongst them the dagger once held by the god Caine the Demonslayer. For it forged from the purest Brightsilver, and since Duffikus could not destroy, it, he had hidden it with the queen, so that his foes could not use it against him.

(Deep within the vaults of her castle lay the spoils ofwar she had saccumulated, and amongst them was a dagger once held by Caine the Demonslayer. Since it was forged from pure Brightsilver, Duffikus could not destroy it. He decided to hide it with the queen so his enemies could not use it against him.)

One day, when both she and Duffikus were commanding their troops on the field against the massed armies of Good, she swiftly slipped the dagger into the spine of the Archdemon as his back was turned. Demons as great as Duffikus cannot be killed, but their physical forms can be vanquished, and vanquished he was by this unexpected betrayal. With his last breath, the Archdemon cried out: “Backstabbing wench, I curse thee! I curse thee and those of thy blood! They will have the long life that thou sought! They will be not perish unless it is of the most mortal wounds! But hear this: although they can change at will, when the twin moons wax, they will show their true forms-as beasts!...

(...Yeah, that's a really long breath. Perhaps make it 'Duffikus spent his last breaths at the queen's side cursing the traitor.')

The massed armies of Evil were thrown into disarray, and the armies of the queen yielded themselves, while the demonic forces were destroyed, though some still wander the Scorched Lands, seeking their master.

(The massed armies of Evil were thrown into total disarray. As the demonic forces were finally vanquished - though some to this day wander the Scorched Lands, seeking for their long gone master - the armies of the queen surrendered.)

That is the story I bring to you children today, and as usual, please spare a few coppers so that I may pay my way, though not too many, for I know you are poor.”

(Once more, you use too many commas. Break it down into sentences.

That is the end of today's story. As usual, I ask you to spare a few coppers so that I may continue telling these tales. I know you are poor, so only give a humble old man what you can spare.)

“And what have I done to earn this, young man?” themass of robesasked in that disquieting voice.

(Words together.)

“That…story you just told. It was…informative.” Garradan replied.

("That...story you just told. It was...very informative," Garradon replied.)

The figure nodded, and said nothing.

(The figure nodded, saying nothing.)

After that, the normality stopped, continuing with a face comprising of greenish-golden scales, yellow reptilian eyes, a prolonged snout, one that might be found on a crocodile, and massive teeth which hung from its upper jaw.

(After that...a prolonged snout that one may find on a crocodile, and massive teeth dangling like pristine stalagmites hanging from its upper jaw.)

As their descendants, my race has taken it upon themselves to preserve and spread the Lore, what you just saw me doing just now.

(As their descendants...preserve and spread the Lore, as you just saw me doing.)

Wait till he told L’zul he had not merely seen, but spoken with one of the members of this elusive race!

(Wait 'til he told L'zul he had not merely seen, but had actually spoke with one of the members of such an elusive race.)

Pacing around irritably in her cage, the white wolf snapped at the balding man had removed the bowl long ago, this time using a long pair of wire tongs.

(Pacing around...snapped at the air. [SPACE]The balding man had long since removed the bowl, careful enough to use a long pair of wire tongs this time. Also, use a _ to separate Garradan's part of the chapter and its change to the wolf's.)

In response for my past review, I noticed a few mistakes in my corrections. Make sure you read them carefully to see what I accidentally made a typo. Also, when I mention sulfur relating to gunpowder, I use 'a few' two times. Turn it to 'with some chemicals like sulfur' or something.

Now, check out One-Eye. :D

NOTE: If you plan on getting this published, you have to be very picky about word choice. Accept some of the feed, or if I'm taking it the wrong way just disregard if I seem to not understand something you had worded correctly, though I didn't think you had. Editing is a very precise job, and the way you word certain things can determine certain aspects such as the overall imagery and how much one enjoys the story. -

Although no hunk, the hard knocks of life had left him with a good amount of muscle, which was kept intact by his relatively fair skin.

(Perhaps to better reword this, make it 'with a good amount of muscle that was kept intact by his relatively fair skin'?)

The one seated on the grass was lithe and wiry, his hair a rich chocolate brown, from a casual glance, it might seem that he was the subordinate of the darker one, but appearances usually aren’t what they seem.

(Rewording: The one seated on the grass with lithe and wiry, his hair a rich chocolate brown. Glancing at him casually, one may suspect that he was the subordinate of the darker one, but appearances usually aren't what they seem.)

Neither did their boots seem like they were made for travelling, which seemed odd, considering they were in every appearance travellers.

(Neither did their boots seem like they were made for traveling, which seemed odd consider that they appeared to be travelers in every way.)

Finally, one of them spoke up.

“L’zul, what on Arkon are you worrying about?” The wiry one spoke up, looking up from the cheese.

(The double use of 'one spoke up' doesn't sound right. 'Finally, one of them broke the silence' could be put in place of 'Finally, one of them spoke up.' The whole 'spoke up' thing doesn't seem reworded all that well to me. 'Piped up', maybe? Brain-fart thinking of how to replace it.)

“I’ve been around you for so long, don’t you think I know about that faraway look in your eyes? Besides, you positively reek of it.” He wrinkled his nose.

("I've been around you for so long that I recognize that far away look in your eeyes. Besides, you positively reek of it." He wrinkled his nose.

The whole 'Besides, you positively reek of it' means? He reeks of the smell, perhaps? It'll make sense the more I read, so like I said, regard something that doesn't seem like it makes sense at the time but is explained later.)

Then you will say, Come, Garradan. Let us go and gather what we need. And we will fill our packs with kindling until there scarcely is enough space for our swords.

(I'm no editor so I'm not positive, but maybe it should be: Then you will say, 'Come, Garradan. Let us go gather what we nee, and we will fill our packs with kindling under there is scarcely enough space for our swords.)

“Then perhaps you could worry about those new Dwarven contraptions I’ve been hearing about, those long tubes. They’re calling them “guns”.”

(Usually with speech or other use of quotation marks within quotation marks, one uses the apostrophe instead of the quotation mark, making it "They're calling them 'guns.'" I'm not sure if the period goes after or before the apostrophe at the end, I'm fairly certain it's like I put it.)

“Just a pinch of that black powder alchemists are fond of, and a few small metal balls, and BAM!” Garradan licked his lips in thought. “I’d like to get my hands on one of those.”

(Maybe to make it seem a bit realistic, you can add a bit of more specification on the design of the weapon. I researched gunpowder while looking over some things for my story One-Eye Knight - which I hope you will review after I make this long, tiresome review - and you could make that

"Just a pinch of that black powder alchemists are so fond of, a few chemicals like sulfur, a few miniscule metal balls, and BAM!" Garradan licked his lips, imagining himself with one. "I'd love to get my hands on one of those.")

“We ought to get to Caparium before nightfall. It’s fairly big, there ought to be a caravan that’ll take us on.”

("It's fairly big, so there ought to be a caravan that'll take us there.")

Shrugging, Garradan brushed the crumbs off himself and feel in step with his companion.

('fell in step with his companion.')

I'll get on chapter two shortly.

heh, well, I believe I said I would definitely read more of this one about...4 months ago? So sorry I didn't get around to it! but now this story has moved up to my top priority. I'm sure it will take me quite a while to get through your 30 chapters, but since its finished, I'll have extra incentive.

wow! I forgot how excellent your writing style was! You're so descriptive!

oh, and your recipe for your city was amusing. made me laugh. creative too.

heh. so that's where the Archdemon Duffikus is from. I really do like your storyteller scene though. They are quite common, but everyone does them a bit differently. Its a good way to give us a bit of info about your world, and a very creative way to explain the existance of your werewolves. great job with this chapter!

~SCR

Wolves... werewolves *slaps forehead* god, i feel like such a plank. *blushes*

Wow... what a story! Woweewow! (Though... he said all that in his last breath! Must be quite a good breath!)

Wow... this white wolf... the dragonkin... its really starting to build up, now, isn't it? Hehehe

I'm LOVIN it so far! Reading on...

~icewolf9 (11.50)