|Reviews for The Promotion|
| Argie chapter 21 . 5/9/2014
Okay, your story is well written, but I have a bone to pick about your comments about how any orphan would/should be grateful for a home at all, even if it is not ideal. You are looking at this from the wrong perspective! Have you ever talked with a person who was adopted, especially as an older child? They tend to be extremely insecure. Many times they have lost people they were attached to, such as parents or foster parents. Above all else they need stability. Your characters are being extremely selfish. They consider making themselves feel good, i.e. rescuing some small child from poverty just so they can sit back and say that they have done their part, above doing what is best for a child. STABILITY is what they need, whether it is with a single parent or two. They don't need to start getting used to having two parents in the house and then suddenly, for reasons they may or may not understand, one parent moves out and they rarely get to see the other parent! That's just plain cruel. Next time, might I suggest that you get a little more information on this topic. Read blogs by adoptive parents. Some of the blogs might try to portray adoption as easy, but it rarely is except for babies.
| deets1 chapter 31 . 5/9/2014
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I really appreciate the oath Jenna took when she found out about the townhouse. It was even better than my wish die the fulfillment of the ending. It was good, and made the ending even better.
| deets1 chapter 32 . 5/8/2014
Oh, and I did not miss that oh-so-coy story picture reference there. Yeah. That foreshadowing. I appreciate it.
| deets1 chapter 33 . 5/8/2014
WARNING SPOILERS HERE (OBVIOUSLY) SO IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE STORY PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS OR I WILL HIT YOU. IN SPIRIT.
Okay so this was amazing.
firstly the first... 15 chapters or so were bliss. You built reader loyalty so well during those things... almost too much really. Because you see I was interrupted from reading this entire thing straight through because life. Had I not been, it would have been easy to read straight through. However, in chapter 21, when Jenna decided to take up the date I was incredibly close to leaving. In fact, I did. I glanced at chapter 33 to see how it would end (because trust me I HAD to know the ending), got some fuzzy gist (that was wrong, by the way) about it-i figured she and Jon were post-sex or something, in bed in the morning, already married or engaged. Don't ask why i glanced to see who the guy would be and got almost nothing.
And then I left.
For five seconds.
Because you see, you built an incredible thing for your readers, for me, and I couldn't just know the ending (kind of) and then not know how it happened. It bothered me immensely for the five seconds I spent getting to another phone tab to find another story, and in the end I just came back and finished reading.
And, as if that weren't enough, your story was good enough that (even though I actually had no idea what happened at the end) I couldn't even be sure that chapter 33 was for read. Seriously, this story was yanking my chain so hard by Ukraine that I was perpetually afraid that I read an alternate ending and the guy wouldn't be Jon in the end. Because believe me, I wanted Jon. Thanks to the glimpse, I realized the error of my Wesley ways. That and fucking Kim. Perhaps not literally. But that bitch.
BUT, despite these facts, I need to tell you some things:
I left, not because this story wasn't good, but because I was getting bored with love triangles. I pretty much hate them now. Long story short I fasted from manga and then when I came back I binged on crappy shoujos because those are all over. Love. Triangle. City. I can barely take them anymore.
But, more than that, Jenna was no longer fitting the ever-perfect mold I had her in, and that bothered me. Along with this recent trend of me just getting bored of what I'm reading. Obviously though, I wasn't actually bored of this, because I couldn't leave-knowing the ending made it WORSE. (Note that I hate spoilers and the fact that I went to the ending instead of just leaving is a testament to how much I really like this thing). Anyway, it was me, not you, a moment of weakness, yadda yadda.
But, funny enough, I didn't really hate Jenna. So she shopped. Okay she was being kinda dumb in a way. She lied to Wesley. Ummm, still dumb. Didn't have sex with Jon. Lovely girl. Then Wesley knew though (thank god for that... I'm actually so happy she didn't have to keep lying) so it was okay because of the weird plan thing. Also, she was so guilty that it was hard not to love her still. So yeah I had nothing against Jenna.
More than anything else though I have to tell you I love how real this is. And I really mean that. This is one weird family. Not perfect, not prince charming, and a long time in coming. Wesley and Jon are more closely related now than... they ever expected to be. Ever. It's weird, 'specially with their lovely 'traditional' family (ha! I wanna see Wesley's Mom's face...). (WAIT. We never met Wes' parents. What an achievement.)
I mean this was messy. Wesley yanked Jenna yanked Jon yanked Jenna yanked-everyone was yanking everyone else's chains! There were so many mistakes made. No one knew anything about what to do, or the future, or their true feelings or anything. It was frustrating and damn nerve-wracking (more so for knowing the ending) but it was great.
Plus the sex-it was so real! They didn't miraculously climax at the same time, and then there was the almost awkward first 'fitting,' and the occasional random quip-it was so them! I loved it. It's nice.
Love Jon, by the way, he's an awesome dude.
And Jenna. Jon and Jenna.
Wesley's pretty cool.
Abby's eh. Don't hate her, kinda like her, she's interesting.
Robin's so... Robin. XD
Poor George though was kind of shunted aside-I mean I got that Jenna was done with him, but we never got to see the wrap-up, or how Jenna felt about it as she did it. That's one fridge-logic plot-hole thing. If that counts. Probably not but. Here. (I need to keep this review quality, okay, I need some constructive criticism-and that's probably all I've got so yeah).
Not sure if I already wrote this but I liked this so much that I immediately transitioned to my computer (I read on my phone) so I could type out the review because I knew it would be long. I'm no stranger to long reviews but when you're this sure about a review it's best just to lessen the pain, and go comp.
I'm so glad I read this. So nice.
Love Jon. And Jenna. Those names, so compatible.
I appreciate the plot twist. I'm personally actually not averse if you want to do that in the future. It was well-done and beautiful and I LOVE THE ENDING ASDFGHJKL JON. AND JENNY GETS JON AND APPLE PANCAKES DAMMIT.
And can we talk about how now apple pancakes are almost a meme for them. I can just see the arguing heavily when they're married, and Jenna's about to truly lose her shit when Jon's just like: "But... apple pancakes." And then she can't help but crack a smile, no matter how much she's trying not to. Come on. Don't tell me you don't see it.
These are pretty much the only two characters I truly see marrying. Usually when I finish stories the characters remain in that sort of limbo forever in my mind. Unless I'm being self-aware, then I'm just like 'okay but... are they actually, truly going to get married? Probably not.' These two are though. Helps that they're adults and she already has a child.
AND ANYA. DEAR CHILD SO BEAUTIFUL.
Okay maybe I should stop here.
Oh, and okay okay wait the beautiful contrast you have going between initial Jon the Jerk, and the actual Jon the BEAUTIFULLY AWESOME HUMAN BEING OMFG ASDFGHJKL I'm sorry but I can't right now. She dug deeper! She got it!
And I can finally approve of the smirk Jenna gave to that one restaurant employee who gave Jon their number. I was not impressed when she first did that, like who what and why would she...?
But now I'm just like YEAH. JONJENNA FOR THE WIN BITCHESSSSSSS.
I just love this too much. It was beautiful and I love you for writing it. I enjoyed it too much.
| mylittleprincess chapter 33 . 5/4/2014
| gulistanlik chapter 31 . 5/4/2014
It still doesn't make sense- I bet Wesley didn't dish the whole story.
| gulistanlik chapter 30 . 5/4/2014
Robin said all men are liars, what did Wesley lie about? So many half-mysteries, don't know what everyone seems to be hinting at to Jenna! Wesley's still a liar isn't he? What is it?
| gulistanlik chapter 26 . 5/4/2014
Hold up, back the heck up there Wesley! You think it's okay to go back to the one woman you said you wouldn't ever talk till Valentine's Day, Jenna's deadline?! Heck is this why the whole Jon vs Wesley comp was cooked up, because he wanted to satisfy his urges again?! Wow. Now some of my questions at his contradictory behaviour have been answered.
| Guest chapter 32 . 5/4/2014
So I finished this story just to say I did and shockingly it seems like Wesley grew up and learned from his mistakes but Jenna really hasn't. I mean in the few hours that Jon was there what did he say that indicated he changed at all really? And Jenna seemed like the same person she was 3 years before...and hung up on an emotionally unavailable rich guy. I don't know I think I would've preferred she ended up with someone else like Wesley had instead of falling back with Jon for basically no reason. Eh Jenna wasn't the most sympathetic character to begin with anyways. I'm glad at least Wesley changed and that they seem to co-parent well.
| gulistanlik chapter 24 . 5/4/2014
I knew it! His behaviour and expressions weren't matching up to what he was saying! What I don't understand is, it seems Kim wants to be him. Why won't he? He's already squashed his pride so many times, every time he goes back to her. What is he really trying to do to Jenna?! I knew he was a liar, I was kinda pissed that Jenna got back with him so quickly. I didn't care she hung out with Jon- I was ticked off that she didn't feel sure and confident enough to be open with Wesley. The fact she was afraid of what he'd do spoke volumes of how much he's already controlling her.
| gulistanlik chapter 23 . 5/4/2014
I know I've been writing scathing reviews but it's directed at the characters. The fact that I'm even this passionate I think highlights how engrossed I am in this story!
What is with Wesley? It's like he either thinks Jon's not competition or he's bowing out! Seriously, who makes such a suggestion to date two guys? Aren't people who care supposed to be a little possessive? This is weird. And seriously is it just me or is it too much a coincidence that Jenna became Wesley's PA right when Kim screwed everything, again? And Wesley became interested in dating her. Experience tells me Qesley's every move is premeditated. So. Is this all a ploy? Why is he desperate for a family right now? It seriously doesn't add up.
| gulistanlik chapter 21 . 5/3/2014
I get that Wesley's done worse but Jenna that doesn't justify her going in the very direction she can't trust Wesley for, it's hypocritical. What I don't understand is why she can't be upfront with Wesley. If he's against her hanging out with Jon, she could just tell him tough and still hang out with Jon, against his wishes. But at least she'd be open- which is thr exact same thing she expectd from Wesley. Gosh is it me or are these two jusy wrong for each other if they're not trying to work with each other? Sighs.
| gulistanlik chapter 20 . 5/3/2014
I think Jenna is stupid- she shouldn't be so ubtrusting if she wants Wesley and a relationship. Jon'a got a point, if you're never going to trust him, you're never going to have a proper relationship even if Wesley doesn't stray. Better to run him through a test and see if a proper relationship could be had than second- guessing his every expression and move. And to consider bringing children into that?! If you want your own child, you don't need Wesley. Find an agency that lets single people adopt! Sighs. Can just imaging the train wreck that's about to unfold. And this creeping around Wesley's back with Jon- just be upfront. Are you actually afraid, Jenna? Wow.
| E chapter 1 . 5/3/2014
Loved the ending, was such a good story.
Please update Unwanted, it's the best story :)
| Nameaiswarya chapter 31 . 3/28/2014
ur work is kinda amazing bt can i plz know when r u going 2 post ur next chapter? v r eagerly wating 4 ending :)