Reviews for MerQueen
Barkers chapter 1 . 11/13/2005
Wow, this was so sweet.. yet underlined with evil! Mwah ha ha! - i hope. lol Update soon for this will definately be a favourite :D
Luthien and Tari chapter 1 . 6/21/2005
Wow, this is a really good beginning. I loved the way you had all those descriptions, bringing Lake Lillimar to my computer screen! This has a very good structure so far.

The only thing I would maybe change is

“Chloe Winifred Ellis, what did I say about the kiwis?” demanded Mrs. Langston in her big, booming voice. This was how she could call them from across the lake.

Kaitlyn’s mother, Mrs. McClure, a petite little woman with wispy brown hair and who looked like she could be knocked over by a strong breeze, had long since given up trying to yell for her daughter when the two girls went to Lake Lillimar.

It took me a moment to differentiate Mrs. McClure and Mrs. Langston. I read the second paragraph then had to read it again. I don't know if it might read easier if you combined the two, or if you should just play around with it.

In any case, this was really good!
Finch the Touch chapter 1 . 6/21/2005
Well done! I really liked it, because it caught my attention. I hope you continue, and I'm adding this to my favorite stories!