|Reviews for that singirl of mine|
| Moonjava chapter 1 . 9/16/2005
Very nice. I like this.
| linaeve chapter 1 . 8/3/2005
intoxicating, heady imagery. beautifully done.
| Lis M chapter 1 . 7/24/2005
you can work with words, definitely, and the concept of hte singirl is interesting, though I felt you could have excpounded more clearly on a message, perhaps?
the first stanza is rather tetchy, although your metaphors are colourful and evocative. Try deviating from pure description, as its pretty much a bane in your case...your language sounds Very unique, however, like a child is writing...hm
that said, I hope you'll continue writing poems andI hope I didn't offned you in any way because you show alot of promise :S
P.S. I really liked a few of your other poems, especially the ones which were more minimalist; your command of language is superb, I should say, but the gilded ones are less raw and provocative. Yup, that's all, and good job here :)
| thank you thoughtful chapter 1 . 6/30/2005
quite the experience, this singirl of yours. you make it all so amazing. i am enamored.
| addie pray chapter 1 . 6/28/2005
Beautiful, I love the line "saxophones slur broken hearts". Well done.
| rei chapter 1 . 6/28/2005
haha it's beautiful poetry and i loved every single line.
| negligible fictional force chapter 1 . 6/26/2005
did i tell you i loved this? i think i did; but oh it gets better with every read. (and no honey that wasn't supposed to rhyme. remember the wedding invitation when you marry clemmy)
| Nobody-n-Particular chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
Sensual and rich with imagery that rolls off the tongue in syrupy goodness. :)
| Rozlin chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
nice -kisses you-
(kissing everyone today)
| PorcelainWord chapter 1 . 6/23/2005
The images in this are well developed, even though the reader is a little unaware of the exact setting and time frame of it. The last line is the best in the piece.