|Reviews for Former Fatty
| NationChild chapter 7 . 8/12/2007
I like the conflict you've inserted in this story, the main character's conflicts, her conflicts with other people. I look forward to reading more!
| Shaylee chapter 7 . 7/1/2007
I hate you... I because I broke my own rule only to read completed stories...
I'm glad you changed it from being raped, I really didn't think that you'd built up the relationship enough between the two for that to happen, plus even reading about it you got the order wrong about how she would feel. I know that sounds like "oh she knows all" but I have been through a similar situation and have had friends... anyway the point is that you really have to experience it or experience something similar or have a friend experience it to do justice to it on paper.
Anyway the two brothers ARE EXACTLY LIKE MINE, total manwhores who are super protective "all guys want sex, guys are evil" sort of attitude. I liked a lot of the characters, I found myself seeing people I knew in a lot of them, particulary Danielle's barbed compliments, I know quite a few people who do this and they don't even realise it. They think its funny, and it is at my school... well its acceptable, but take those people outside it they keep on doing it and they appear very snobby.
I was upset with the developments in the teacher crossing the line, mainly because I LOVE my teachers and I LOVED the fact that you went into what being a good teacher meant. Especially in English, I have a few teachers who really really really get involved in what they teach. Mrs. T is hilarious, when I do my orals she just smiles and sighs and puts her head in her hands trying to visualize it. She's awesome.
If you were to develop this more I would suggest you explore some of the characters more instead of putting them in categories, I know easy to critic hard to put in practice. Its just I look at Max- gorgeous best friend who is man whore and jealous. Pick a characteristic from a male friend that you love and hate and give it to him. Ie my friend's ex is super protective, he always looks out for everyone and he hates arguments, even though he's like a massive soccer player, he's so cute. Or how about the friends she rejected, how about friends in her "smart" classes. I know she'd have them, the people up the top usually know each other quite well.
Hm look I gave you ideas... come on continue this :)
| ying-chan chapter 7 . 6/13/2007
I like you 'ugly duckling' themed story ) i'm a sucker for those p
yours really interests me because Andrea actually sounds like a real person to me...
and Max is so sweet, although his personality change was sure...abrupt...
he seems pretty superficial, sorry to say it. but i think all guys are like that. i think the main reason my best guy friend doesn't like me is due to the fact that i'm not physically appealing enough. #% #%$. lol don't mind the 'swearing'.
also, i think you had too many random characters, it would have been better if you focused on less and developed them in depth a bit more.
but overall i really enjoyed reading it why else would i read so many chapters in one sitting haha? and please please do update soon! and just write with the flow... it doesn't matter too much what we think but mainly what YOU feel because its YOUR story! D goodluck!
| honey splattered brains chapter 7 . 5/25/2007
| dani chapter 7 . 5/12/2007
UPDATE! why did ya stop?
| Freakage chapter 7 . 5/9/2007
Super interesting! I'm not really one to read the ugly duckling story, but this one has real soul, I think. It's certainly isn't one of those shallow ones you can find - I'm really enjoying it. Thanks for writing and posting and I hope to read more from you soon.
| atreyu love chapter 7 . 5/6/2007
no more updates? I really like this, update? please?
| bittersweet nostalgia chapter 7 . 4/30/2007
what happened to you, here i am reading youre story and thinking, wow. this is so cool. and i check the date and its been a year and a half.
are you okay? try to update, its really nice. [glomps] so i narrowed down my options and came up with either:
-track you down, go to your house, tie you to a computer chair and threaten you to write
-write a review.
| sweets555 chapter 7 . 4/17/2007
i never read the version where she was raped, but i do like this version much better. great job, im adding this to my alerts!
| Kohlomere chapter 7 . 4/10/2007
That was teriffic! Don't stop, I about died when Dan...well, what really killed me was when she started cutting herself. But don't let it go, it's great! E.
| cringeynostalgia chapter 7 . 3/27/2007
This story is really great, and I'd love to read more of it. It worries me that you haven't updated since December 2005. Is this abandoned? I really hope not, and maybe you just have author's block or something, but I really do like this story and want to read more :) Hope to see some more chapters soon! :D
| Enigmatic Night chapter 7 . 3/16/2007
Hey I thought this was an absolutely awesome fic! I've noticed that you haven't updated in more than a year.. and I was contemplating not bothering to review.. but what the heck this story warrants a review to try and get you to update.
You have some very developed chracters, and the plotline is funny and interesting to boot!
I actually like Andrea, I find that in a lot of stories I don't like the female protagonist because she's either
a. Superficial, and Andrea isn't... or at least appears to not be .. considering she's smart and all.
b. in love with almost everyone.. yeah that anoys me.. the first hot guy to pop up and she's all over them.
c. unrealistically /beautiful you name it's her... I mean come on, no one is perfect.
and the list can go on...
But you've developed her in a way that she can gradually become a better person outside aswell as in.
Max... I like him... trying very hard to not want to jump into bed with Andy and somewhat failing. You've potrayed him quite realistically, with not wanting to sleep with her or anything slightly like that until now.. but knowing it's bad but not being able to help it because well, the platonic best friends love thing is coupled with this new ... attraction?
HEr brothers rock...
Phil... I'm a bit mixed about him... he seems ok.. and a real nice guy, but .. safe. Like if she goes for him .. and continues t would become mundane very quickly.. or he might turn out to be a cheating Mc-Bastard. hehe
Dmitri (sp?) Anyhoo... awe he was so cute... will there be a return of the russian hottie? I can imagine it would cause quite a bit of stir... and conflict. I mean he was good looking while he was chunky.. and you hinted that he had gotten even better as he lost weight. And the foreign thing will definately work in his favour.. so hope you consider it.
Dannielle.. one word... bitch. Not even a cool bitch.. that's a like a mean person but is intrinsically nice and good, but no she's a mean horrible person... and the fact that I hate her is an indication of how well devloped this antagonist is.
HEr parents.. interesting.
Oh yes.. there are also a few things Is like to query.. in chap seven.. the bad rapist teacher calls Andy, Dannielle. was that intentional? Then Max's last name isn't consistent with what you had it as before, Wilson.. wasn't it Williams?
Those aside.. I do hope you continue on with this story... it's a good one and you shouldn't let it go.
Here's to hoping for an update!
| decadebydecade chapter 7 . 2/8/2007
I like it alot.
But why aren't you updating?
I think its a great story so far...so just don't give up on it, kay?
One more thing: When Dan/Mr. Matthews offers Andrea a ride home, he calls her Danielle. And did you change Max's last name to Wilson? (Andrea called him Williams the day she left for Fat Camp)
I'm just a little confused...
Anyways, it's very well written, and I LOVED Max's point of view. His awkwardness/freaking out/jealousy made me smile. So cute :)
And I was wondering if Dmitri was going to make a come back-through letters-or even as an exchange student...just a thought.
Wow I guess that was more than one thing...(sorry)
Keep writing! (PLEASE!)
PS: (last thing, I swear!) I totally want to kick Danielle-she's such a superficial, plastic...ughh, don't even get me started. Anyway, you were planning on putting Danielle in her place, right?
| the flaming river chapter 7 . 2/5/2007
Damn it's been a long time since you've posted but please post soon. I'll be alert.
| the flaming river chapter 5 . 2/4/2007
I'm liking this although this fucking thing going on is kind of agravating and a little too much like life. Oh well...