|Reviews for Cheater|
| butterfliesandponies chapter 1 . 10/18/2008
The "I'm a man" and "I have needs" is totally,utterly, BS.
| Islandbreeze chapter 3 . 7/4/2005
At least someone got what they deserved, hopefully Stephanie and Bonnie can find someone else...Forrest really needs some more time at therapy, doesn't he? Nice short story, it all flowed and was well written, nice job. There was a big difference in characterization between Bonnie and Stephanie, and I thought your portrayal of Forrest was done well too, so sometimes we ptitied and sometimes laughed at him...very very nice job with this.
| Islandbreeze chapter 2 . 7/4/2005
Uh oh, Forrest just doesn't learn, does he? I don't want to see what happens when Stephanie finds out...you've done all these chracterizations really well. Nice events here, the plot is moving right along.
| Islandbreeze chapter 1 . 7/4/2005
Forrest, Forrest, Forrest...such a naughty lifestyle...tsk tsk. This wa a good chapter to set up the rest of the story, Forrest's background was told in a way that made it interesting so we got all the details, and the beginning was catching. Going on to the next chapter...
| Lola Sanchez chapter 3 . 7/1/2005
hahaahahhahahahahahhahahah he got what he deserved. nice little story there.
| Lola Sanchez chapter 1 . 7/1/2005
this is good!
| RuathaWehrling chapter 1 . 6/29/2005
Hello! I felt like something different from fantasy today, so I'm trying this instead of my usual story! :)
1.) "I don’t feel anything for Tara; she was just available" - YOUCH! Bad call, dude. That was NOT the thing to say. *sigh* Men are so DUMB!
2.) "OH, FORREST, YOU LOOK awful!" - You might want to try using horizontal lines to divide sections of your story from each other. Just for legibility.
3.) "All day long, his coworkers had snubbed him and made a point of inconveniencing him." - I'm surprised that everyone felt that way. There must have been at least a couple of people who would have been mad at Forrest for having an affair anyhow, and would have been happy to see him try to "behave"...
4.) "I’m not trying to buy you back, I bought these for you because they were pretty" - First off, you're missing a quote at the start of this (or else fictionpress 'helpfully' deleted it for you!). Also, that comma after "back" should be either a semicolon, a dash, or a period.
5.) "You show up at my door with a smile pasted on your face, a bunch of cheap flowers, and some silly line, and you expect me to just let you back in?" - EXACTLY.
- Yep, this was definitely different from your other story! Of course, I think Forrest is a creep who needs to get slapped (or hit with that frying pan a lot more), but nonetheless, you did a nice job. Be back for more (of one story or another!) later!
Thanks! - Ruatha
| Death Of Divinity chapter 1 . 6/29/2005
a really good start to a story, you included all the details n stuff needed to make it interesting and kept me hanging on wanting to read the next chapter :) keep up the good work : and thanks for reviewing my piece _RavenX