|Reviews for Passion in the Depths|
| Guest chapter 28 . 2/15/2013
Hello Mac and Ty (Sorry if I am misspell your names),
Hi, I'm KaronePrincess from fictionpress. I would like to make some clarifications about my last review that was on 2-9-2013.
When I said I like Sadie and Christian to be together, what I meant was "Ravi", not Christian. My review on 2-9-2013 was the first time that I review in a while, so I couldn't remember it is Ravi or Christian. When I said I have re-read your story many times which I did years ago; so the review on 2-9-2013 was my first time while checking your story, therefore I couldn't remember the top of my head that it is Ravi or Christian that I wanted to be coupled with Sadie. I know now that it is Ravi-the adopted prince with short green eyes was the one I want to be with Sadie and what I meant after I double checked the story and character's names.
Now the clarifications are made. I hope you know now that it is Ravi and Sadie that I WISH you to end them together. Do you remember that back years ago I have emailed ask you to pair Sadie and Ravi together, and you said that you might, depending on the story as the story progresses? I don't know you may remember that or not? But for me, I remembered very clearly. You have no idea how you made my little hope shines like big star when you said that. That means you might pair Sadie and Ravi together.
Yes, you did put Sadie with Christian on ch.5 when Christian first met Sadie as she lay unconscious after her fall. And you also made Sadie first met Ravi on ch.20 when a group of 4 assassins come and plan to kill both Sadie and Christian. Prince Ryder lets Christian escape and all 4 assassins chase down on Sadie. They tied her hands and legs up. This is where Ravi first sees Sadie and he picked her up and carried her onto the horse and ride with him. I was surprised at how tender and genuine he is with Sadie. You know when was I reading at this part; I can't help but my mouth was grinning ear to ear and smiled joyfully all the whole time. I have giggles and feel butterfly in my stomach when I read any parts that have Sadie and Ravi together. On ch.28 at the end, I keep smiling when reading the part to know that Ravi was carried Sadie food for about a week and finally he and her talk! I was so happy and thrilled. I feel different when Sadie with Christian. I feel like Christian is her brother and he protects her in a brotherly way. However, when Sadie with Ravi, I feel something mysterious yet intrigue going between them. Their together appearance made me drawn to them. I feel like Ravi was a heroic and manly with charisma in him while he was around Sadie. It’s like he will protect her at all cost considering they meet only one time. And Sadie Hazel (my favorite character of the story) even though she is a slave covers in fragile and tender body, but I felt her holding the strong spirits in her that will survive any evil that being thrown at her. It’s all tie to the fate of this young slave girl and how her fate save world depends on how she handle them. She is SOO AWSOME! It’s like I can feel she has some sort of invincible magic that will push all the evil away.
When you put Sadie with Ravi together, their combined chemistry is attractive yet simple. And I like it that way. I am being drawn toward to the two them. Please would you promise me to make Sadie and Ravi together? Please? I would sell my soul for it, anything for this couple to be together. I’m really begging you. I am serious. I couldn’t get Sadie and Ravi out of my head. They are so different, and yet their differences are what pull them together and that made me go crazy head over toe in wishing they would make a couple. I think you are sick of me keep asking you to put Sadie and Ravi together, uh? It’s just I couldn’t see you in person so this is the one way to express myself how much I am dead serious rooted for Sadie and Ravi. If Sadie and Ravi becomes a couple, if I know where you live, I would come and hug you two really tight and bringing you two over to my house and have milk and cookie, and have dinner together to show how much I appreciated and grateful to you both for making my dream come true.
Prince Ryder is such a gentleman. And poor princess Millicent, I hope she doesn’t get any more injuries than she already have. I am like this couple too. They are so perfect with each other.
Now onto the story, what I like most about your story and it is always considered my number one favorite was your story has full of actions, high conflict events, and full of turns, surprise events, and unexpected turning points. All the characters were very lively and have different personality and I love it how they all connected. And best of all was the written style. Like on ch. 20 when 4 assassins plan get the stone and kill both Sadie and Christian, I was screaming in my head, “NOOOOO! Don’t go to the good guys, run and kill to the bad guys!” I was holding my breath between Ryder struggling to kill Sadie and Christian and breath out that Ryder have let Christian run away. And on ch.28 the evil guy finally have Christian in his castle and tricked him into trusting him. I was screaming again, “What?! NOOO, Christian, he’s the bad guy. Don’t trust him! He’s here to get your stone. Follow what your heart telling you, something weird with this guy.” Yea, I sometime let my passion get the best out of me. You have great ideas and good imaginations.
I am really admire you both to have written this far, this good, and have written beautifully. I have a story of my own that I have outlined and have plans, but to transfer those ideas onto the paper (or laptop) is difficult. I don’t know there are many people find it easy, but as for me it’s hard for me to actually write out. I have to plan ahead of how I want to write and getting all it connected; not to mention the writer block. So I truly adore what you two have accomplished so far. I know that you mentioned on the author’s page that you are not giving up the story. *YIPPY—YEAH!* (sorry about that, it’s just I am soo happy). I am still waiting patiently until one day you have complete this story. This story is TOO AWESOME to left it off like that. If you have a chance, please finish it. I am always here to support you and letting you know that out there, there is one person who always silently and patiently waiting and keep checking your story. I can’t wait to read the story after what you will be edited; after you renovated the story. I will wait for that one day to come. Again my one last review statement as always, “Please update soon!”
*WOAH*, I didn’t know that I review this LONG. I just keep ramble on and on. This is how much I give my support to you both.
Have a WONDERFUL day _
| KaronePrincess chapter 28 . 2/9/2013
I'm KaronePrincess from . Do you remember me? I guess not really since you have so many reviewers. I just checked this story today and sadly that it was still on ch.28. But when I checked your author page. I noticed you said that the story is "currently being renovated" and that you won't give up on the story. You have no idea how HAPPY I am to know that you plan to complete and not giving it up.
This is the ONE story that I had always remembered among many readings. Your story is very perfect and I mean "perfect". Great story plot, good complex event, love it how you connect all characters together, new characters appear, and well written story!
Could you promise me that I will make Sadie and Christian ended up together? Please, really please? I can't get this couple out of my head. Oh..how...I wish they ended up together. You have no idea how many times I re-read the parts when they first meet and parts that they spent time together. You can tell that I am heavily addicted this couple. You got to make them be together. I am actually feeling like they are real. That is my MAIN wish and major point for the story. I can't wait how you put more of them together. I am excited to read if one day I check to see you had updated.
Have a wonderful day _ !
| Theif chapter 28 . 11/13/2012
I love your story. It is full of surprising twists and turns, and the different characters are, in their own ways, convincing, realistic and perfect for their world. Another thing; your world. You have made a whole new world which is very hard to do. I love the way you bring the characters together.
I hope you update soon and would love it if you read my story and reviewed it (please R&R the story! I have lots of poems but I need encouragement for the story so read that please and tell me what you think.)
| Yours Truly chapter 28 . 11/10/2012
Wow, this story is amazing! I love the vividly imagined world, to equal george r r martins o tolkiens... The quality of the writing is superb. The second i figure out how to log in on my phone i ll be following.
One criticsm; we got the impression christian didnt know how to read or write, and was unsucessfully taught. So how could he read the words 'Tiger Eye'?
I m thoroughly enjoying this story and look forwards to the battle (which i hope there will be.)
I would like it if the 'former slave girl' developes powers or finds some offensive (e.g sword fighting) skill- there are no kick ass feats shown from the main female characters (note the word main).
Anyways, update soon and good luck with the story!
| Whatsoever chapter 28 . 4/27/2012
Are you ever going to update? I love this!
| Whatsoever chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Very interesting chapter! I really liked the style of writing and the descriptions. I look forward to the rest (:
| Alexa-and-Lira chapter 28 . 6/22/2009
This is truly a very good story. The plot is complex, while not being convoluded and the characters seem less flat than many stories on this website have them. One of the few things I'm worried about is whether or not you have abandonned this story. It's a shame if you have decided to, but there is nothing we as readers can do. It would be nice if you posted some sort of notification about you continueing or leaving "Passion in the Depths". It has been over three years since you last posted. If you are seeking to get it published, that would also be nice to know.
| vivling chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
So, I've been waiting to read this story for a month (the first time I half-read the prologue I was grounded 'till the end of the school year, but it's summer break now, so YAY!).
First I thought that the firs paragraphs were really good, 'cause I could practically feel the cold, but then i fell in love withthe fight scene. Espesially the whole 'slipped in the thick blood of men split onto the ground; once, she fell and landed beside the open eyes of a dead solider'. You really got me there.
I can't promise that I'll review every chapter, 'cause I'm really dizzy, but I will read the rest of the story and I'll try to leave a review here and there.
| alexa-xox chapter 28 . 6/18/2008
This is really good and its obvious by the amount f reviews that I'm not the only one to think so! Will you be continuing with this novel? I hope you do! I know school takes up a lot of time, but I really have enjoyed it so far and hope that you will consider continuing this again!
Keep up the hard work!
| Lady Sakaki chapter 4 . 5/24/2008
I want a pet tiger! xD
Well that side...
You forgot at "t" on "he" here...
"for he prince’s taste."
Bah...guess that's it...at least that I caught...xD It's two in the morning, so my mind isn't that sharp...xD
| Lady Sakaki chapter 3 . 5/24/2008
Haha! I knew it! The princess wears glasses! By the way, she's a fun character...and I love Ravi too! :D
| Lady Sakaki chapter 2 . 5/24/2008
Like I said earlier...nice flow. :D The pacing seems to be totally awesome...not too slow or too fast. Yeah, I had assumed there was a reason for Ravi's unusual behavior...Oh yeah! That reminds me...
In your sentence...
"...even more unusual was that Raví kept at least one knife tucked into his leather boots at all time – usually more."
I don't think you need the last phrase, "unusally more" because you already said earlier in the sentence that having the knife was unusal by having the phrase, "even more unusual."
Just something I noticed...other than...pretty cool...liked the Princess's entrance. It seemed as if she had trouble seeing...or was exremely confused...o.O
Oh well...hope to hear from you soon... :3
| Lady Sakaki chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
REALLY enjoyed reading this story, especially your first few paragraphs where you described the slaves' rooms. It made me feel like I was in a musty room too. As I read through the prologue, I noticed how smooth everything flowed. Very nice.
I only have some minor concerns...
"Sadie anticipated seeing all of the evil and iniquity of the world in that green, expected to find greed, and the guilt of innocent deaths; but, instead found a strange passion hidden within the depths."
As much as I reread this sentece, and even though I knew what you meant, it kept sounding odd to me. In that green what? And is "instead found a strange passion hidden within the depths" a complete senetence? If not, the ";" is missused. Bah! I'm still learning about grammar. xD
In your pharse...
"The female grunted. “Glad you noticed.”"
Shouldn't there be a comma after grunted? It's the same as...She said, "I like chocolate." Which I do...I love chocolate! :D
"Her face touched the blood of his body, which seeped out from his new wound, and she cried out."
I don't think you need "the blood of his body" here. Simply saying "his blood" it's understood that it's from his body...I mean...it is his blood...o.O The same with "new wound." It's understood his wound is "new" because the battle is still going on and it was a wound he didn't have before.
Just some things you might wanna look at and stuff...xD
Like I said, I really enjoyed reading this...I shall try to read the rest whenever I can...:D
P.S. Please excuse my spelling...I'm a HORRIBLE spelling...aw.../cry
| I Murder on Impulse chapter 28 . 4/20/2008
HEY..ARE YOU EVER GONNA UPDATE? i REALLY LIKE THE TONE OF THE STORY THOUGH _
| Mad Asher chapter 2 . 1/10/2008
Well this seems strange. Fitting names, a passable prologue, and a nice confortation between Ryder and this millicent.