I like the frenzied-sounding philosophy in this,

like a perspective on the nature of life in general,

sort of grim but a question of the meaning of it all.

Or at least that's what I got.

Favourite lines:

"(Will we always scratch at

the lid and never dream?"

Like we're all trapped inside something but too afraid

to dream ourselves out of it.

Thought-prvoking.

I also like it the way it is.

"Losing continuity, letting you flood into me"

I like that part, and also

"A decaying...halitosis kiss"

Like the use of words

PB

suggestions...m sorry not good with that kind of advice. it seems to work well the way it is. beautiful imagery tho!

By the way, thanks for reviewing me again- I enjoy your advice.

I was searching for something of yours, specifically that had few reviews- and I found one!

I love the title- very fitting. "A halitosis Kiss"

I totally love this one Jack! I love the "A decaying sliding mass ofsugared rotting ‘bliss..’- a tasteless teething error," - absolutely fabulous! Fav's! ~DS~

Note: written in the very early hours… may need some of the format changing. If you have any suggestions let me know.

Seems all right to me.

Well, I love it the way it is! Keep writing!

~Anna~