|Reviews for For Love|
| Sunne chapter 13 . 3/27/2006
I don't think you could have ended this story any better. It gave the reader a sense of closure and reasurance that everything ended up alright. I do wonder, however, what ever happened with Joshua and her. Through out the story you did an excellent job with all the technical legal stuff. It was obvious that you had a rudimentary knowledge in it but you kept it interesting and didn't go into too much detail and bore the reader.
| Sunne chapter 12 . 3/27/2006
Whoa! I wasn't expecting Brittany to lost. Usually in the movies the underdog wins. Jeez, she's lost everything. Now her brother. Its like he was the last person she had and now she has no one. That's really tragic. Excellent story though. I wonder how she'll cope with this...
| RuathaWehrling chapter 1 . 7/15/2005
So, I decided that I didn't like the characters in that fantasy story I'd been reading, so I'm going to try this one instead. Here goes!
1.) "My parents’ car hit the buck with such an impact" - THe phrase "with such an impact" doesn't really work. I mean, that's just saying "with such a hit". What you really mean is "with such force" or "power" or something, right?
2.) "Derek and I never saw our parents after the accident" - Really?
3.) "While my friend tired to let me know" - Typo. "tried".
4.) "While my friend tired to let me know my dad was dead and my mom was in critical condition, I was probably laughing at some stupid joke one of the characters was telling." - Ouch! Good line, though.
5.) "Debating the topic gave me something to think about besides what had happened to my parents, and I found a comforting intensity in insisting that Jennifer receive the proper payment." - Very good insight!
6.) "I hoped I wouldn’t get in trouble for not having the paper done. Then, I felt relieved, because I had an excuse not to be done. Then, I was angry with myself for being relieved about my parents’ accident." - Haha! Uh.. I mean, I guess it's not really funny, but... it's so realistic.
7.) You've got a lot of short paragraphs describing her dreams for college and such in a row. You might consider combining some of them, just to make it nicer to look at.
8.) "I can’t let you back there. It’s authorized personnel only." - That just seems really strange. I mean, why can't you visit someone in the hospital?
9.) "He was playing with a little girl who had a cast on one arm and a collection of plastic trucks." - Did you mean to imply the girl owned the trucks, or just that they're playing with them. Because this sounds a little awkward.
- VERY GOOD! I really like this story. :) I think I'll switch permanently to it. You've really given Brittany a firm, realistic personality, and that makes the story flow very cleanly. Can't wait to see what happens next!
| bex17 chapter 2 . 7/12/2005
I really love this, great job, sorry, the chapters are long, but I promise I'll read it soon, I swear. I read and reviewed some of your story. Now can you please find the story Mike by bex17 ? It's under General. It should be on one of the first couple of pages. Thanxs! You only have to read the first chapter. And if you don't like it, then you don't have to read it anymore. But please review, so you can tell the other readers about it. But you're a totally amazing author, and I love this story! You're now on my Favorite Authors list!
| Krystal Mauritius chapter 7 . 7/7/2005
Wow. The drama is just so good, I don't know what to expect and what is going to happen next and I just love that. Look forward to the next update!
| aslan-chic chapter 7 . 7/7/2005
Omigoodness! This story is so good! You had me crying in the first chapter and I'm totally connecting with your main character. Even though I'm not sure bout her choice I'm sure I would have done the same thing. You are so on my Author alert! Pax!
| Michiko87 chapter 7 . 7/7/2005
I agree that you did make it seem like she only cares about her brother and not her parents. But this is still a really good idea for a story. _
| bex17 chapter 1 . 7/5/2005
I think this is a good story, but it's kind of stupid in a way. You maid it seem like she didn't even care about her parents death, and trust me, she would. Even if she was an adolescent with a terrible attitude who didn't even talk to her parents, she would be sad. Well good try anyway.
| jamien chapter 5 . 7/5/2005
I really like your story! It's very interesting. Brittany is an awesome character! please continue!