|Reviews for Double Edged Swords
| MahinaMoon chapter 25 . 9/7/2009
This was a nice contrast to the previous chapters. The disjunction between ending the last chapter with Liss in rags in the forest, and then waking up here to pull silks from the closet is beautifully executed. It only highlights the superficiality of her highborn world.
I wonder, though, what is Cliadis' reason for harboring these exiles? It must cost a fortune to maintain the Haratan nobles in such luxury...and they haven't a penny to their names now. It can't be just because the Prince and Princess are good people. I'd imagine the welcome would wear thin quickly.
| MahinaMoon chapter 24 . 9/7/2009
Ah, Liss has grown, but she still comes across as childish and a bit of an idiot in this chapter~
Has she forgotten that Flin grew up on the streets?
| MahinaMoon chapter 23 . 9/7/2009
I'm a little confused as to the geography of your world. They do an awful lot of traveling awfully quickly, particularly for a period where getting anywhere (IN WINTER!) was often slow and arduous. I get the impression that these countries are not very large, a lot like late medieval Europe. Which is an interesting change from the sprawling empires of most medieval fantasy settings.
The culture feels a little more post-medieval, though. With the descriptions of the manor houses and estates, and the general living conditions, I'm channeling post-renaissance. It's too clean and refined for the middle ages. The peasant rebellion definitely brings to mind revolutionary France, but I can't seem to fit your world into the Enlightenment. It doesn't seem *that* developed. But the, not everything has to correspond to real history, right?
And yeah, Flin gets around a lot. Almost freakishly so. He can't be that effective a spy if everyone recognizes him by his real name. Plus...I'd always thought a spyMASTER might have more to do with centrally directing the spies and organizing their information than carrying out so much field work himself. Like the director of the CIA doesn't tail Bin Laden personally. One would think he wouldn't have the weeks to waste traveling on foot to Cliadis.
Just something that's been bugging me.
| MahinaMoon chapter 22 . 9/7/2009
Hahaha. This is interesting, reviewing the story three years after its completion and yet finding your author's notes almost a perfect response. Makes me feel predictable.
Well, perhaps you will find some use in a stream-of-conscious review from someone *as* they read the story. I've got to say something different sometime, right?
| MahinaMoon chapter 21 . 9/7/2009
Yup. I think I might review every chapter from here on out. You can never have too many reviews, even on a completed story. It encourages other people to read.
I totally empathize with Liss' ultimate reaction to Aric's death. It was like that for me when my grandparents died, too. Not a tear, and for a while I wondered if that made me emotionally deficient. "I repeated the fact that I would never talk to him again, or argue with him, or tease him – but I couldn’t feel it." Pretty much sums it up. I cried in a dream once three months later for my Grandmother, but that's it.
When did we ever get around to thinking that mourning and moving on required demonstrative wails and gallons of saltwater? I'll say it's probably easier for an actor to make themselves cry and fling themselves about the stage than portray numbness and subtly repressed emotion.
| MahinaMoon chapter 20 . 9/7/2009
See, now THIS is a brilliant way to end a chapter...the last words are chilling, but somehow gentle. Liss has gone through major character development.
| MahinaMoon chapter 19 . 9/7/2009
Okay, the bit of reflection and embarrassment at the beginning of this chapter has quelled my rage. I'm feeling better about the fainting now that you didn't just dismiss it as somehow completely natural and expected of beleaguered heroines.
Still, all those other ninny maidens/swordswomen/mages-in-training can go jump off a bridge. People KNOW it's a cliché, and yet they still do it. Not even in parody. WHY LORD, WHY?
| MahinaMoon chapter 18 . 9/7/2009
First of all, let me say that I'm really enjoying this story.
Now, let me say that Liss fainting at the end of this chapter is a crap out. I know she's physically and emotionally overwhelmed, but I feel like the last five stories I've read have had the heroine faint in at least one chapter. It's a cheap, overused way to end the chapter and perpetuates poor stereotypes about women. I mean, come on, how many times have you seen someone under the age of 60 pass out in real life? I sure haven't. Liss is better than that. Her collapsing to the floor is okay- I can see her going dizzy and her strength giving out as it was all for naught, but does she really need to full-on *faint*?
| thestoicwarrior chapter 33 . 5/26/2009
so I just spent all day reading this story. and it was worth it.
every word. every plot twist. every lie and deception.
and now I see something about a sequel so I will look at that next.
| Written chapter 33 . 3/24/2008
you've done a lovely job! I think your world building was very intelligent, and you seemed to take a page from the french revolution at times. I thought that the spy-work at the beginning was kind of shaky.. though I can't pinpoint why. It's hard for me to believe that she thought they WOULDN'T know. I dno, I know I'm thinking too hard; it's just a fantasy, after all! your story is just so well done that the little implausibilities stand out a bit :)
you've done really well. I actually feel weird being done reading, you know? I can't believe it's over. WELL DONE. Congrats on finishing such an epic.
| Written chapter 31 . 3/24/2008
AH. WHAT WILL HAPPEN!
You are good at cliff hangers. Luckily I can just click on the next chapter!
| Written chapter 30 . 3/24/2008
oh crap. my review accidentally deleted itself. you have a great sentence opener here: "Maturity was my reluctant master, leading me haltingly to the world of adulthood."
and a good chapter. way to keep up the suspense for so long!
| Written chapter 28 . 3/24/2008
good chapter! I loved the parts of the long speech you put in... hahaha.
| Written chapter 27 . 3/24/2008
yay he's back!
sad though... story's nearly over... D:
| Written chapter 26 . 3/24/2008
wow! excellent. guess she wasn't over aric after all... sad.