|Reviews for Moon Of Shadow|
| HeatherLee chapter 14 . 1/26/2008
i liked your story a lot. the only criticisms i have is that especially in the beginning you used the wrong tense of words. like you would say "we was going...blah blah blah" instead of "we WERE going..." i made up that example but you get what i mean. another problem i found is that you are having these old vampires talk modernly. for instance Arkane shouldnt EVER say "trouble with a capital T." its not something that he would have ever said in his time AND he has been trapped in a spirit world type thing for a long time. he never would have been able to pick that up. there are also a lot of run on sentences and you have to make sure that you dont say the same word twice in a sentence. one last criticism (sorry there were more than i thought of in the beginning) is that i'm pretty sure that when there are two different characters talking, that they have to be in seperate praragraphs. there was this one time im particular when Sorrow and Amelia both said like two different things to each other back and forth all in the same paragraph.
having said all of that, i really REALLY like your story. you have a really nice way of describing scenery and i feel like i know your characters (although "sean" is still confusing me and i dont know what his intentions are). you did a really good job and i truley hope that you have not abandoned this story. hope to read more from you in the future!
| Alyrenzia chapter 14 . 4/10/2007
wow, i love your story it very original and due to that totally awesome. love it with a passion and I hope you'll consider updating in the very near future. much love and mad props
| Mae Liz chapter 14 . 1/17/2006
Interesting... you should really update this soon. I think that Shannon should stay as well, I think that she might be good for Atherin as well as for Amelia. You should update soon!
| AubriannaKnight chapter 14 . 10/18/2005
Yay, I'm so glad that you decided to update again, and thanks for the email. It was much appriciated. (sorry if I spell anything wrong.)Oh I thought I would let you know that you are allowd to reply to reviews. Everyone does it. Some people in their own review box and other at the begining or end of their chapter. Holy Heck, I completely and utterly LOVE Anubis, but then again all your characters are GREAT. I'm also going to "advertize" this story in my profile you need more reviews.. That is if anyone reads my profile. I haven't added anything new in a long time. But I will.. One last thing.. I forgot ..Is Arkane's identity still a secret? And I thought the bad guy had to marry Amelia too, so then why is he trying to kill her? Oh and I'm glad to hear about the sequell.
| AubriannaKnight chapter 13 . 7/20/2005
This is one of the best stories I've read on here. I hope you update soon.
| rosiedreamer chapter 13 . 7/20/2005
GAH! update! for I shall not survive in this world if you don't!
| rosiedreamer chapter 1 . 7/20/2005
thats so cool
| AubriannaKnight chapter 9 . 7/19/2005
I love Arkane, he's too adorable. And I hope Anerin Is gonna be alright. Why did he want to keep Amelia? Did he like her more than a sister?
| AubriannaKnight chapter 6 . 7/19/2005
wonderful chapter...your story was an excellent and original idea.. i would get it published
| AubriannaKnight chapter 5 . 7/19/2005
How were Rose and Atherin made. How old is Rose, will she never grow up?
| AubriannaKnight chapter 4 . 7/19/2005
awesome chapter, and i really liked Rose. Rose is very cute and perky.
| AubriannaKnight chapter 3 . 7/19/2005
This chapter was a little confusing. Like the switch over from Shannon to the blonde vampire to David then the house. These things have no order, and jumps around like a dream sequence. And then does Shannon know about vampires, what happened to her?
| AubriannaKnight chapter 1 . 7/19/2005
Awesome story, you better update!
| lilliefrost chapter 13 . 7/14/2005
Cool story. I love how you describe all the characters and the fights. Wonderful work! I hope you update soon:)