Reviews for Child of Darkness Book One
K chapter 3 . 10/28/2012
I really like the concept/plot of the story, it is creative and although it is considered a "paranormal romance" it is well executed.
However, your writing lacks emotional depth. When Adianna had the flashback about being attacked by the guy while she was reading, I felt absolutely noohing for her, because it was out of the blue and very, very bland. I would also recommend to use punctuation, because there is a noticeable lack of commas. Another thing is to stop using phrases like "she said cryptically" or "he said humourlessly" because it sounds like you are expecting the reader to think it's cryptic, when really it sounds contrived and overly-done. The tenses switch alot, and I sometimes had trouble distinguishing which character you were talking about.
Except for those tiny errors, the story is great, and I find Adianna to be an engaging character.
Regards,
K.
DeenaSoraDrake chapter 34 . 2/4/2010
I absolutely loved this story. I found myself drawn back to it whenever I had to put it down for the night. It seems very professionally written. However, I noticed numerous typos in every chapter. I tripped over them, but I could still tell what you most likely meant. Fix these, and that should make it a little better, though after that, I can't think of anything else that could be done to improve the story. ;) I'm looking forward to reading the sequel.
WORLDxDOMINATION chapter 12 . 6/26/2009
Wow, I really like your story so far. It's really good!
A.V.Mackie chapter 34 . 8/17/2007
Okay, now that I've finished I have to say i really enjoyed your story. It's not perfect and in some places its bloody annoying or makes no sense to me. I mean sometimes it seemed as if you hadn't decided what sort of period you wanted to set the story in, i.e. the horses when they could have used cars and the that force-field thing. But the style, jumping back and forth from the past to the present, that I really liked, it worked really well with the story. Also I'm pretty sure you either read too much manga or watch too much anime, 'cause you were always using Japanese words when they made no sense being there, not that I don't like anime, love it really. Have to admit I did like the nekojin thing, that was new to me in a vampire story. In the end though I will say this, good stuff, could be improved but damn good anyway.
A.V.Mackie chapter 21 . 8/17/2007
A force-field! WTF?
A.V.Mackie chapter 15 . 8/17/2007
Dear god! Why is he riding a goddamned horse for chrissake?
A.V.Mackie chapter 14 . 8/17/2007
Reading through this story, I'm enjoying it, but the random Japanese is a bit corny. If it doesn't have a good reason I'm not gonna enjoy the rest of the story.
Icepanda chapter 1 . 2/22/2007
it's a really nice story, thank you for writing it. i enjoyed reading the whole story and i finished it all in one day :D
Rachel chapter 1 . 9/22/2006
Hey! Just reading the prologue, and so far it seems suspensful! The whole "love" comments from one of your characters seems to summon Captain Jack Sparrow to mind. lol. Well have a great weekend, and I'll see ya in Latin on Mon!
LittleTaintedOne chapter 2 . 9/4/2006
This story is very interesting and intriging. But make sure you doble check you spelling and grammer, because there are many mistakes that make it difficult to concentrate on the story. But all in all it was great.
Raymond Lamar Gilstrap chapter 1 . 7/28/2006
Nice start. Wow, I see that you are already finished with this story and you are working on a sequel. I've got a lot of reading to do. Thanks for reading Dark Society. I really appreciate it!

Until Next Time . . . .Raymond
Aegis chapter 2 . 5/17/2006
I have to say I love the beginning, it's very promising and I like the author’s style already. The very beginning is almost Cliché, but that’s good. I happen to like well used plot devices as they can suck the reader in early, as she has me. I’m looking forward to reading more and soon.

As for improvements, it's really too early for me to be able to offer any constructive criticisms, as I’ve not gotten to know her characters better. But I certainly see no ‘flaws’ in the writing style.
Adaku chapter 5 . 5/16/2006
vampires...dark and interesting creatures, I've been watching too much vampire movies. Nice chapter

waterhealer
Adaku chapter 4 . 5/16/2006
Adia, that's one of my charcaters names as well, it's Nig. for Beautiful. great work, your story is most interesting!

waterhealer
Adaku chapter 3 . 5/16/2006
wow, I'm an idoit, so this one is the oringal, and Daughter of Night is the sequel, so I was right in the first place...? whatever, keep up the great work. _

waterhealer
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