Reviews for Mister Dominic Punchinello: Danger and Peppermints |
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Darthen chapter 2 . 7/8/2005 ooh, I would not suggest reffering to what is going to happen while writing as the narrorator. It sort of sets off the pace and ruins the continuity of the story. It's as interesting as it can be under the circumstances, this chapter should be included with the first shapter because, again, nothing really happens. Keep writing and don't be discouraged. |
Darthen chapter 1 . 7/8/2005 hm, fascinating. It seemed like you sort of cut it off a little short, nothing really happens in this chapter except for some conversation. make the next chapter longer, use less dialogue and have more stuff happen. |