i liked this story alot _ even though it was just a little slow.

1st person is really pendantic. your story moves slower than molasses.. is that drow character something someone else made up? I've heard of it before. if so, this is a fan fiction, not an original work. try submitting this at . It looks as if you put a lot of thought and love into it. Try doing it in a different voice, as if you are outside looking in. an observer...